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Christian Mingle: The Movie is happening: 5 Things to know about it

Tiffany Antone is a playwright and instructor, who also finds time to produce and direct new and innovative works. Her plays have been read/produced in NY, LA, DC and AZ, and she is the creative mind behind Little Black Dress INK — a fem...

Not dirty enough to see Fifty Shades? Then Christian Mingle: The Movie is for you

Does the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer have you feeling a bit naughty? Have you been thinking one too many dirty thoughts about Jamie Dornan lately? Well then you're in luck, because the UP network has a much lighter shade of lust in store for you this February.

When we first heard that ChristianMingle.com had been turned into a movie, we were like:

Not dirty enough to see Fifty Shades? Then Christian Mingle: The Movie is for you

Image: Giphy.com

I mean, a dating website for Christians is hardly the thing you consider when trying to figure out what the next wacky made-for-TV movie is going to be. I mean, what's next? An OKCupid web series? Or J-Date on Showtime? Are we in for a whole slew of dating site movies now that the floodgates have been opened?

And if so, can I put a request in now for FarmersOnly.com? Or would that just be too much of a good thing?

More: Fifty Shades cuts controversial tampon scene — read the excerpt now

I guess the answer will become clear after Feb. 8, which is when Christian Mingle: The Movie premieres on the UP network.

But in case you're still not sure which would be a better fit for you movie-wise (Fifty Shades of Grey or Christian Mingle), we've put together a handy little list of everything you need to know about Christian Mingle: The Movie.

It features "that Party of Five girl"

Christian Mingle: The Movie stars Lacey Chabert — yes, Lacey Chabert from Party of Five — as Gwyneth Hayden, a 30-odd marketing exec "with a top-notch career, killer wardrobe, dream apartment and great friends." The only thing missing is her perfect man. And apparently the search isn't going so well, because in a last-ditch effort to find a decent guy, she signs up on ChristianMingle.com — even though she isn't (wait for it) Christian!

Not dirty enough to see Fifty Shades? Then Christian Mingle: The Movie is for you

Image: Giphy.com

I know, kitty, I know — what is she thinking?

It's your typical rom-com with a Christian twist

So, right away we're looking at a common rom-com trope and big dating faux pas — building the foundation of your relationship on a lie! Only, instead of having to juggle two men or pretend to speak French, Gwyneth has to pretend to know how to do Christian things, like pray at mealtimes, while the audience holds its breath wondering if she'll remember to say amen.

Not dirty enough to see Fifty Shades? Then Christian Mingle: The Movie is for you

Image: Giphy.com

The movie delivers on other rom-com tropes, as well: the truth-talking friend who tries to stop the protagonist from stepping into her den of lies and the inevitable reality slap that hits our heroine right in the face when all of her carefully woven trickeries come crashing down around her. But, instead of your typical romantic comedy ending full of Godless schmaltz, Gwyneth's dating disaster helps her see her shallow and superficial life for the garbage dump it really is, allowing her to find God who, in turn — spoiler alert! — rewards her by steering her towards her one true love.

More: Finally, a rom-commentary that actually gets modern daters (VIDEO)

Chabert's isn't the only familiar face you'll see here

Christian Mingle's cast is riddled with unexpectedly familiar faces. First, there's Lacey Chabert, but then they added TV heavyweights like John O'Hurley (Seinfeld, Family Feud) and Morgan Fairchild (Falcon Crest and guest spots on practically everything that's been on television since), and we're on the ground like Homer Simpson, dizzy from all the confusing feelings.

Not dirty enough to see Fifty Shades? Then Christian Mingle: The Movie is for you

Image: Giphy.com

The very, very, very, confusing feelings.

The movie was written and directed by, and stars, Corbin Bernsen

Corbin Bernsen (L.A. Law) is another TV heavyweight whose familiar mug has most definitely been in at least one of your favorite TV shows or movies, if not more. He's only got a handful of writing and directing credits under his belt, however, but hey, we're not judging.

Not dirty enough to see Fifty Shades? Then Christian Mingle: The Movie is for you


Image: Giphy.com

It airs Feb. 8 on UP... six full days before Fifty Shades hits theaters

Listen, I don't want to put ideas in your head, but if you're still not sure which flick is for you, you could always watch them both. Let Christian Mingle: The Movie lift you up, then let Christian Grey throw you down... onto his Fifty Shades bed of sin... yeah, that could totally work.

Not dirty enough to see Fifty Shades? Then Christian Mingle: The Movie is for you

Image: Giphy.com

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