In a very un-Noah Calhoun-like move, Sparks is dumping Cathy despite the fact that she inspired pretty much every heroine in his saccharine-sweet books and films. They will not die at the exact same moment while holding hands. Turns out that only happens in the movies! Who knew.
"Cathy and I have separated," he told People. "This is, of course, not a decision we've made lightly. We remain close friends with deep respect for each other and love for our children. For our children's sake, we regard this as a private matter."
Now that his literary kingdom is built upon a throne of lies, Sparks may want to tap into a new genre to help pay what is sure to be hefty alimony and child support payments. May we suggest the humor market? He could take some inspiration from Twitter, which has come up with some real gems in the wake of love's gruesome murder.
Is the world ready for sad, angsty break-up novels from Nicholas Sparks?Attractive white people almost fighting instead of almost kissing— erika (@babedeniro) January 6, 2015
Nicholas Sparks is gettin' divorced. When he has a hard time dating, he'll only have the unrealistic standards he created to blame.— Craig Calcaterra (@craigcalcaterra) January 6, 2015
so far my favorite nicholas sparks romance story is the one about nicholas sparks getting divorced— John DeVore (@JohnDeVore) January 6, 2015
Nicholas Sparks is getting divorced but I don't feel bad for him because "hey baby I wrote the notebook" is the best bar pickup line ever— Greg Baroth (@gbaroth) January 6, 2015
Not even Nicholas Sparks can keep a woman happy. Sip on that for a minute.— Mario Luke (@Super_MarioLuke) January 6, 2015
Nicholas Sparks Splits From Wife Cathy After 25 Years of Marriage. Channing Tatum to star.— Lisa Barone (@LisaBarone) January 6, 2015
Nicholas Sparks getting a divorce could be equated to your rehab physician doing cocaine.— Land.o (@LANDOW747) January 6, 2015
Nicholas Sparks and wife are splitting up. He better get to building a house and growing a beard and drinking beers quick!— Jared Tullos (@ThanksJared) January 6, 2015
Nicholas Sparks will reunite with his wife the very second she gets a brain tumor, don't worry.— Nick Mamatas (@NMamatas) January 6, 2015
Do you guys think Nicholas Sparks divorce proceedings will take place only through love letters from a forgotten time?— Ezekiel Conrad (@Noalarmplanet) January 6, 2015
So, Nicholas Sparks is breaking up with his wife. Just goes to show you that happy endings only happen in fairy tales and massage parlors.— Justin Johnson (@jjohnson801) January 6, 2015
But seriously, it's not nice to mock someone's heartbreak. It's funny as hell, but it's not nice. We wish Nicholas and Cathy peace.
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