The saying goes, "It's funny 'cause it's true," but we're hoping Pitt was being facetious when he totally roasted Rihanna at her Diamond Ball to benefit her charity the Clara Lionel Foundation.
During Pitt's intro, he basically called the superstar singer lazy, questioned her life choices and beseeched the other stars in the room to help get her on the right track.
"I've often asked the very question that you yourself are asking right now: What the f*** went wrong?" Pitt said, showing the crowd a childhood snapshot of the star. "I give you exhibit A: Yes, look at that young girl before you. All full of hopes and dreams. Living a humble existence in the Barbados parish, her whole life ahead of her.
"And what happened? It's not a pretty story. Like so many others, Rihanna landed on the unforgiving streets of New York at the young age of 16, and soon fell in with a bad crowd — a bad crowd led by the dubious nefarious character known as the Jay Z. For those of you not in the know, the Jay Z was an evil impresario known for churning out hit records, and ripping insane lyrics and fresh beats. Needless to say, it was all downhill from there."
Pitt went on to describe Rihanna's numerous accomplishments, including 13 No. 1 hit singles, 54 million albums sold, seven Grammys, 11 Billboard Awards, 90 million Facebook fans, 40 million Twitter followers and one entry on Time magazine's Most Influential 100 list — and implied it wasn't enough.
"With all the billions of people in the world she's only managed to help a few hundred million or so have a better life… I hate to see such potential squandered," he joked. "I believe it's important that we view tonight not just as a wonderful fundraiser for a great cause, but as an intervention.
"If we don't act quickly and decisively and help this young lady find direction and purpose, I fear this will be Rihanna by this time tomorrow," Pitt continued, showing an fake photo of Rihanna photoshopped into an overweight woman eating junk food on a couch. "I ask that we stand together, by her side, and show her our support and our love and say to her the hard words, 'Rihanna, put down that sandwich, get off your ass and do something. Goddamn it, just do something with your life.'"
It was all very tongue-in-cheek, of course, especially since the "roast" reads more like an incredibly impressive résumé.
Rihanna looked absolutely flawless at the event, posting a couple of photos to Instagram to show off her gorgeous gown and stunning necklace.
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