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God punished Kim Kardashian by making her fat

A celebrity gossip junky, Caroline Goddard has been writing entertainment news for longer than the world has known Kim Kardashian's name. Follow her on Twitter at @GoddardCaroline.

Are you there God? It's me, Kim. Make me skinny again?

If you have been questioning your faith this holiday season, Kim Kardashian has finally uncovered proof that God exists: Her gargantuan pregnancy weight gain.

The reality star, who gained a reported 50 pounds while pregnant with North West, said she's pretty sure there is a God because why else would she have packed on so many pounds if not to take her ego down a notch or 20?

"I'd think God was doing this for a reason," she told Elle U.K. "He was saying, 'Kim, you think you're so hot, but look what I can do to you.'

"My body just went crazy. After five months, I swore I'd never get pregnant again. I got so huge and it felt like someone had taken over my body."

More: Pippa Middleton is disgusted by our butt obsession — Kim's included

Kardashian also shared a touching moment from her teen years, when her body had just started to blossom and she had no idea what to do with all that ass and that chest.

"When I was 13 my father wrote me a letter," she explained. "I was unhappy with my body — I developed really early. Every night I would sit in the bath and cry. I prayed my boobs would stop growing. He told me I had a body not many girls have, that later it would lead to attention from men, but that the most important thing was that I was a wonderful girl and I had to understand my self-worth."

More: Watch Kim Kardashian poop in a cup (VIDEO)

Now she totally loves her curves (God thinks a little too much, apparently), but that attitude didn't come to her easily.

"It's taken me a long time to be happy with my body and for my confidence to grow to what it is today. I grew up when the body to have was the tall, slim, supermodel one, like Cindy Crawford's. No one looked like me," she explained.

"It's good to break the mold and recreate one. I'm an Armenian girl, I have shape and it turned out people liked that. That makes me feel good about myself and about other women for being so supportive. I am a confident woman, but I didn't just arrive confident — it has built over the years and that is a big part of who I am now."

She obviously got way, way over her body hang-ups, judging from her attempt to #breaktheinternet.

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