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16 Lies Clueless told us about high school

Theresa Edwards

by

Shark Wrestler

Theresa Edwards is a freelance writer and professional whiner. She lives in Dallas, Texas with her family where she enjoys reading, roller derby, and complaining about the heat.

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

I labored under the belief that high-schoolers had loqued out Jeeps and wild house parties every night, and I couldn't wait. It wasn't until my freshman year that I realized I was totally buggin'. We were all lied to.

As a middle-schooler in the '90s, Clueless was my guide to high school. It represented everything I could look forward to — a time to leave Trapper Keepers behind and refine my interests among my older, more mature peers. Perhaps I would meet a nice boy at the mall, for instance, after purchasing a marabou boa to match my brand-new high school clothes.

More: Iggy Azalea as Cher Horowitz for Clueless-inspired "Fancy" music video

1. Everyone has a car in high school

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

Pretty much no one I knew drove to high school until they were a senior, and then it was usually in a beat up Geo Storm, at best.

2. You can wear whatever you want

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

As long as it fits the rigorous dress code.

3. You can wear whatever you want, and no one will make fun of you

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

Only Dionne could wear this hat with impunity. Snaps, girl.

4. High school relationships were complex, lasting affairs

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

For like, a week.

5. High school teachers were way more lenient, and kind of stupid

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

Cher would have failed my high school English class, unsolicited matchmaking notwithstanding.

6. Truancy is no big deal

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

Especially if you don't mind getting arrested.

7. A whole new world of slang awaited us

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

The surest way to identify yourself as a freshman was to use "buggin'" unironically.

8. Parties! Parties every weekend!

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

Really intense ragers that included four of your friends sitting on a couch in your basement watching TV and drinking peach Schnapps if you were hard-core.

More: Alicia Silverstone joins the Mommalogues

9. Being a new kid is easy, if you make friends with the popular crowd

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

All you need is a makeover.

10. It's totally OK to dance like this:

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

It is not. Ever.

11. Flirting is easy

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

Anything that brings attention to the mouth is good.

12. High school fashion is high fashion

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

Haute couture pajama bottoms and hoodies, amirite?

On StyleCaster: All of Cher Horowitz's outfits from Clueless

13. High-schoolers were so deep

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

Everyone loves a little light amateur psychology.

14. Party games are a thing that happen

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

My favorite one was, "Stand very still against a wall until it's time to leave."

15. Teachers were so understanding

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

As long as you had a really good, humorous excuse for being late.

16. I'm still waiting for one of these:

These 16 things from Clueless left us totally buggin'

Image: Giphy.com

But it's not like I'm bitter or anything, OK?

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