The pop star revealed this horrifying part of her past while discussing the song, "Swine," on Howard Stern — better known as the tune she was performing when her artist friend puked all over her last summer.
"The song is about rape," she said in an interview with Howard Stern. "The song is about demoralization. The song is about rage and fury and passion, and I had a lot of pain that I wanted to release."
When pressed by Stern about whether or not she was raped by a music producer, she finally revealed she was.
"I went through some horrific things that I'm able to laugh [at] now, because I've gone through a lot of mental and physical therapy and emotional therapy to heal over the years," she said.
"My music's been wonderful for me. But, you know, I was a shell of my former self at one point. I was not myself. To be fair, I was about 19. I went to Catholic school and then all this crazy stuff happened, and I was going, 'Oh, is this just the way adults are?' I was very naive.
"It happens every day, and it's really scary, and it's sad," she explained. "It didn't affect me as much right after as it did about four or five years later. It hit me so hard. I was so traumatized by it that I was like, 'Just keep going.' Because I just had to get out of there… I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't tell anybody. And I didn't even tell myself for the longest time. And then I was like, 'You know what? All this drinking and all this nonsense, you have to go to the source, otherwise it just won't go away. It will not go away.'"
Disgustingly, her alleged rapist — who she never names — tells people their relationship was romantic and consensual.
"I saw him one time in a store and I was so paralyzed by fear," she said. "Because it wasn't until I was a little bit older that I went, 'Wow, that was really messed up... you were 20 years older than me. I was a kid. How is that a date?' It took me a long time to feel strong about it."
If you are a victim of sexual assault, you can get free, confidential help 24/7 by contacting the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE or online at rainn.org.
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