Paris Hilton: Paris avoids jail time for drug bust...should have gotten house arrest. Mind you, for her, that probably means a suite at the Hilton.
Tony Parker: Eva Longoria's soon-to-be ex joins a growing list of athletic sex-texting cheaters. Text to Tony: I D I O T!
Lady Gaga: WHERE'S THE BEEF? Apparently on Lady Gaga....mystery finally solved!
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