The "Animals" video opens with a bunch of camera clicking, which represents all the pics the creepy butcher (Adam Levine) takes of his customer (real-life wife Behati Prinsloo). Unless we're modeling, the sound of a camera relentlessly clicking creeps us out. Also, we're supposed to believe that Prinsloo has a body like that and eats a ton of meat? Look at the package of meat she's carrying! It's almost as big as she is. She obviously frequents this shop — regularly enough for the creepy butcher to know who she is, yet she stays so slim.
OK. This is just weird. Levine either is in the basement of his butcher shop (which is adorned with hundreds of pictures of his unsuspecting gal pal), or he is in his apartment where he hangs several sides of beef. Either way, we think this butcher dude is mixing a little too much business with pleasure. Why is he playing with meat hooks and hunks of meat after work? It's just not right. Hasn't he ever learned that you shouldn't take your work home with you? Working with meat all day obviously does strange things to people.
So we were already in our heads with how creepy "meat man" is and then he had to start hanging out with the meat… literally. Dude, get some friends.
Just a quick point here — it's super creepy that Levine is so normal-looking when he's on the street or at the club in this video. He's a guy we'd probably play "How you doin'?" with at the club, not knowing what a super freak he is at home.
Next, the crazed butcher person just pops up in this girl's bedroom. Whaaaa? What the hell? She just wanted some steak, OK? Her iron levels were probably a little low, so she was craving a big hunk of meat. She did not want some fah-reak to stalk her, hide in the shadows behind her and show up in her bedroom uninvited. At a minimum, we're hoping creepy meat boy showered before he decided to pull the late-night pop-in instead of going to his love interest's house smelling like aged beef.
And there it is. One second we're in a club watching sketchy butcher guy getting rebuffed by the object of his obsession, and then boom! Three minutes and 25 seconds in, we're watching naked married people have sex. When will celebrities ever get it through their heads we don't want to see celebs who are married in real life throw down on-screen? We don't know why we don't, but we just don't. Did we learn nothing from Eyes Wide Shut?
Our gag reflex was already getting a pretty good workout, then these two drench themselves in blood all Carrie style. If you read the YouTube comments for this video, some people think this is hot.
Do people want to envision themselves having sex with Levine or Prinsloo so much that they'd be willing to be doused in blood? I don't get it. Wouldn't most of us be standing there wondering, "Um, what kind of blood is that?" It's an important question to ask, people. It matters. Or wouldn't we be thinking, "I just showered — awesome. A little warning next time, please."
Watch the video and tell us what you think. Is it off the hook (ha, ha, get it?) cool or is it "too far"?
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