At the UN earlier this week, Emma Watson made an impassioned speech imploring men to get involved in the conversation about gender inequality. But, judging by the book, The 66 Laws of the Illuminati, the men of the Illuminati don't need much convincing.
In fact, if you take Law 59 at face value, they don't need any. So, is the organization really just a bunch of feminists or is there more to this chapter than meets the eye. Let's read between the lines.
Right? Women have been trying to get this point across forever. We just refer to our offspring as "kids," but "new light" works, too, we suppose.
Hmm... OK. I mean, yeah. Naturally, you want the person you start a family with to be someone who brings out the best in you and who is a good person. But we kinda feel like these dudes might put out a casting call for spouses along the lines of, "Middle-aged keeper of light seeking young, attractive, healthy specimen to procreate with. Experience with underground organizations desirable."
Now we're on the same page! How is this a hard concept for people to grasp? The Illuminati gets it. Perhaps if they weren't so clandestine, they could help spread the word.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. We were not expecting this revelation. We're gonna need a minute to process.
First of all, are we correct in understanding that God is a jealous god and therefore God must be a female? Because, what, all women are jealous? This feels like one of those ridiculous IQ test questions. "True or false? If all Boogles are Battuns, and some Battuns are Trandles, all Trandles must be Boogles." We're not arguing about the point that men don't understand women, though.
Well now, this is lovely.
Um, yeah! Dare we say we're starting to think the Illuminati might not deserve the bad rap it gets?
Again, we've gotta admit, we're impressed. This is a solid principle and one people from all walks of life would benefit from practicing. That is, if by "in high standing," they are referring to quality of character. If they are talking about social or political standing, well, it's not nearly as nice.
Straightforward enough, right? You get what you give. What you put out into the world, you will get back. We can dig it.
Pump the brakes, buddy. This just took a turn for the worse. When did women start meriting comparisons to mules? Also, come to think of it, we kind of resent the fact that this is written to men by men. Are women not allowed to read or are they just not worthy of such advice? What the hell, Illuminati?
This sounds oddly totalitarian and ominous. Aaaaand we're back to being creeped out by the Illuminati.
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