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Selena Gomez's men: Justin Bieber vs. Tommy Chiabra

Kat Hobza resides in sunny Western Montana. She is the Senior Authoress Specializing in Sarcasm at Okay, shes the only authoress at funny freelance. When shes not formulating tongue-in-cheek ideas and content as S...

Justin Bieber vs. Tommy Chiabra — a scorecard

Look out Justin Bieber, your on-again, mostly off-again gal pal Selena Gomez has found herself a hunka-hunka burnin' Italian love. For her 22nd birthday, Gomez and Tommy Chiabra played in St. Tropez. So has Gomez upgraded? Below, we've compiled a scorecard to help us decide.

Number of arrests

Justin Bieber: Several run-ins with the law, one arrest

Tommy Chiabra: 0

Number of years of probation

Bieber: 2

Chiabra: 0

Number of houses egged

Bieber: 1

Chiabra: 0

Justin Bieber's home raided in egging incident >>

Number of mop buckets peed in

Bieber: 1 (that we know about)

Chiabra: 0 (that we know about)

Number of racist videos on the internet

Bieber: 1

Chiabra: 0

One less lonely racist: Another shocking Justin Bieber video >>

Ranking on Sports Illustrated's "Most Hated Men in America" list

Bieber: 5

Chiabra: Not listed (In fairness, Chiabra appears to spend most of his time in Europe.)

The Biebs ranks No. 5 in most hated men in America list >>

Number of petitions calling for his deportation

Bieber: 1

Chiabra: 0

Number of languages spoken

Bieber: 1

Chiabra: 4

Number of yacht companies started

Bieber: 0

Chiabra: 1

Number of tattoos

Bieber: A lot

Chiabra: 1 — that we can see

Number of breakups with Selena Gomez

Bieber: 3 jillion

Chiabra: 0 

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