"My mom flew with me to the rehab center," Kesha begins, before detailing the miserable, cold night, when she stopped at a thrift shop to buy a coat before heading to the airport. "I wrapped myself up tight in it while I cried in the passenger seat," she writes in the introduction.
"I've written songs about partying, but my dirty, little secret is that I’m actually incredibly responsible," she admits, before revealing that her stint at Timberline Knolls residential treatment center had nothing to do with any hardcore partying.
So what's the real deal, then? Kesha says it comes down to something that most, if not all, females can relate to: body issues. As one of pop's heavy hitters, Ms. Sebert said there's a whole lot of pressure put on her and other industry sirens to have that body. "I felt like part of my job was to be as skinny as possible, and to make that happen, I had been abusing my body," she confessed. "I just wasn't giving it the energy it needed to keep me healthy and strong."
She later on addressed the double standard the public takes on men versus women, who talk about sex and partying, and she makes total sense. "When men do that, it's rock and roll, but when I did it, people assumed I was a train wreck. I played confident, but still felt like an outcast," the singer admits.
Kesha used music to help her cope with being "overly critical" of her own body, writing songs like "We R Who We R," "Warrior" and "Love into The Light." Unfortunately, the pop singer would begin to feel like a liar because she was telling people to love themselves as they are, while she was hurting her own body. Kesha says that her stay during rehabilitation helped her focus on herself. She woke up at 5:30 a.m. every morning. Cell phones weren't allowed. Plus, she was free of the celebrity camera lens.
"This is an uncomfortable story for me to share, but if one person seeks help after reading this, I'm happy I have," she writes. "I'm not fully fixed. I am a person in progress, but I want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Even I need to be reminded that we are who we are. And when I say that, I f****** mean it, now more than ever."
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