We'll pick somewhere upscale, because it's a special occasion, right? And there — in the home of the $8 cocktail — we'll inevitably stuff our faces with overpriced entrees, be reduced to tears by the three-figure bill and, naturally, spend the entire evening away from our kids talking about our kids. On the upside(ish?), we don't have to worry about birth control for the evening — our culinary overindulgence has given me acid reflux and the husband meat sweats, so we won't be enjoying a nooky nightcap.
Sitting in the dark. In a room full of strangers. Oh, and did I mention no talking? Sure, that sounds like an amazing date night. After all, what better way to get to know someone than to chill with them in total silence, right? Yeah... no. Not even close. Not to mention, movie dates are particularly "dangerous" for fledgling relationships. Weird relationship drama or passionate sex scenes on the big screen often translate into awkward and uncomfortable when you're just getting to know each other.
The premise here is the same as the movies — who wants to go on a date where you don't talk to each other? Well, I suppose you could talk to each other at a concert. But by talking, I totally mean shouting. Then there's the problem of all the other people. At least at the movies, you've got your own designated space that people generally stay out of. At a concert, you're contending with a whole lotta people crammed together. So while you may have been hoping for a little intimacy on your date, you probably won't be too jazzed that drunky-mcfrat-boy (and not your date) is the one who keeps copping a feelsky... and spilling his cheap beer all over your cute new dress.
Ice skating. Seriously? This actually comes up on several popular men's lifestyle sites when you Google "great date ideas." Well, fellas... I'm here to tell you that you've got this one all wrong. I'm sure your logic is that insecurity on ice skates likely equals a lot of hand holding on your part. Or that the freezing ice will lead to "warming up" in your arms. You know what I hear? That I'm going to bust my ass, which I'll also be freezing off. Also, watching that cocky little preschooler skate circles around me does nothing for my bruised ego (which complements my bruised tailbone).
It's time to let go of the ghost, people. No seriously, as in Ghost — you know, the classic romantic movie in which Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze make spinning clay look like the ultimate foreplay. In real life, these kinds of classes are filled with lots of other people, and we're pretty sure spooning while spinning/painting/etc is frowned upon. It's no wonder the new craze is drink-while-you-create art classes, because you're going to need some vino to drown out your insecurities when everyone else paints like Picasso and your "owl" looks like Mr. Potato Head.
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