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Why the new Fiat commercial makes us not want to buy a Fiat

Kat Hobza resides in sunny Western Montana. She is the Senior Authoress Specializing in Sarcasm at www.funnyfreelance.com. Okay, she’s the only authoress at funny freelance. When she’s not formulating tongue-in-cheek ideas and content as...

A swing and a miss

Fiat released a new "GIF" commercial that makes us really not want to drive, buy or be seen in a Fiat.

This is your marketing team on drugs

Sometimes a commercial makes zero sense, and you half wonder if the marketing team conjured up the most annoying concept they could to get people talking about their product. See for yourself.

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Who's steering Fiat's marketing team?

Did Fiat consult with Kylie and Kendall Jenner when considering a marketing concept? Did they hire Miley Cyrus to produce an ad and it cost them so much they had no choice but to go with it? We're not a marketing director of a car manufacturer, but there are a few things we know about consumer reaction to something like this.

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• Gear your marketing toward people old enough to drive.

• Don't alienate women. You don't have to be the CFO of a Fortune 500 company to know that women dominate as spenders in most areas of commerce. Fiat already has one strike against it in this case because this model has no room for families. Let's not add insult to injury by showing a random woman with her skirt blowing up three times in a 30-second spot.

• We admit that having a car that can zap a robot may be helpful in very isolated incidents. However, the segment of the commercial that shows strange dudes in horse heads dancing around horses coming from under the hood is the stuff nightmares are made of.

• Every company knows its bread and butter is in repeat customers. Thusly, you should do your best not to embarrass the people who are already using your product.

• This ad commits the cardinal sin of marketing — it annoys the viewer.

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If we are going to give Fiat the benefit of the doubt, the giant banana likely represents cargo space (as does, we suppose, the bear). The girl probably represents Fiat's sexiness. The horses and the robot-zapping are probably supposed to suggest Fiat's power just as the spastic cat is supposed to demonstrate Fiat's ability to corner and maneuver. But did you get any of that? Probably not. And in the end did this commercial do what it was supposed to do, which is make you want to go to your local Fiat dealer and test drive (with the intent to own) a Fiat? No.

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