Jane Lynch might not "give a s***" what anyone thinks about her being gay these days, but years ago, she was terrified at the thought someone might discover her secret.
"For me, to be ostracized would have been the worst thing," the nearly-54-year-old Glee star explained in a video for the new It Got Better series, which will feature LGBT celebrities' personal stories.
She added, "To be thought of as different and not accepted was a fate worse than death."
Sharing she realized she was different long ago, Lynch recalled, "I enjoyed doing boy things. The boys stopped wanting to play with me when I got to be about 10 and I had to fight to play baseball. Every day, I didn't know how I was going to be received because I would just hang out until I got to play. Deep down inside, I knew that something else was going on."
At age 14, she learned what "gay" meant when friends pointed out that sometimes they would see men walking together and holding hands who are "gay for each other." Lynch says a lightbulb went off, and she thought, "I am the girl version of that," though the realization was terribly upsetting.
"It was almost like I had a disease I had been diagnosed. I had a journal and… I remember I wrote, 'I am gay. No one can ever know this.' And I went four blocks away and threw it out in somebody else's garbage," she added. "It led to a life of secrecy that I had to unravel."
The woman we've grown to love as tracksuit-clad Sue Sylvester credits a move to New York and surrounding herself with like-minded, out and proud individuals with helping her come to terms with coming out.
Check out her It Got Better story here:
Sharing a bit of advice to those who might currently be going through what she once did, the recently-divorced actress added, "I believe that people come into our life — we draw our people to us. Just always keep your eye open and your heart open for those like-minded, like-hearted others. It doesn't even have to be somebody else who is gay going through this, but just somebody who you know is sympathetic. They will come your way. You're gonna find your people."
And you'll see personalized content just for you whenever you click the My Feed .
SheKnows is making some changes!