Well, isn't this special? So many offenses, so little time to count them all. OK, we'll try. There's the indiscriminate application of the n-word, other harsh language, complaints of guys looking at Nicki Minaj's a** (while she writhes around in a fishnet stocking) and insulting racial stereotypes — all delivered in the first 53 seconds.
Remember when Enrique used to be handsome, sexy and romantic, so we forgave him for his somewhat mediocre music? Well, ladies, we hope you're sitting down, because those days are over. In "I'm a Freak," Enrique's face is way too close to girls' butts and he just comes off as another smelly guy in the club looking to hit it and quit it. Gross. "Baby come and give it to me?" No. We don't think so. We want our hero back.
Oh no Mrs. Carter's man did not ignore her while he read the morning paper! Beyoncé's "Partition" gave us a little snapshot into her and hubby Jay Z's sex life. Now we know that this power couple likes to get fah-reaky in the limo on the way to the club, what Bey's a** looks like and how Beyoncé is not afraid to work a pole. Lovely. Many viewed this voyeuristic video as Beyoncé's desperate attempt to compete with the shocking ploys of pop princesses like Miley Cyrus and Rihanna.
Most of these videos are shocking because the line between appropriate and inappropriate is seriously blurred, but Kylie Minogue's "Sexercize" is just shockingly bad. A few seconds into this video, when the stability balls make their first appearance, you wonder if you've stumbled onto a parody video. A pommel horse in red pumps? Who does that? We're sure Minogue thought she hit a bull's-eye when it comes to sexy videos, but all she did was make us think we were watching a bad '80s music video.
Billy Ray Cyrus can't get it through his head that "Achy Breaky Heart" was a bad idea the first time around, and it's a shockingly bad idea to remake it. This go-round, Cyrus throws in a side of Buck 22 who sings, "It happened ‘cause I'm sippin' on that good Kentucky whiskey." How much whiskey, exactly? Way to embarrass the makers of Kentucky whiskey with this Achy Breaky flop. There's fake guitar playing, a reference to Cyrus' daughter Miley while half-naked women twerk in the background and a heaping dose of Billy Ray acting so much cooler than he really is. We're sure this has gone down in the annals of music history as "How to never, ever make a music video, no matter how much Kentucky whiskey you have chugged."
Estelle's "Make Her Say (Beat It Up)" starts out as an interesting look into loving couples from all corners, in all shapes and sizes. And then — bam! — the wheels come off the bus in a way that leaves nothing but a pile of scattered, charring metal. We're sitting here minding our own business, listening to these nice folks' stories, and then we're in the bedroom with them. There's beard abuse, blindfolds and honey and a seemingly out-of-place toothpick.
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