SheKnows talked with Marcus Pierce from Bravo TV's Online Dating Rituals of the American Male. The show is not only entertaining but highly enlightening, much like Pierce's advice. And, yes, there are spoilers!
Marcus Pierce: This is after they look like their profile picture, right? Haha... If so, then I'd say the biggest turnoff is having nothing to talk about — bad communication, they're not interesting. Sometimes the email and text conversation don't match the flow of being face-to-face with someone. Some people can be quite outgoing and witty when hiding behind a laptop or phone, but in person the confidence could be lacking, they're not genuine and don't look you in the eye. Bad communication is the big turnoff!
MP: The best approach, I feel, is all about being yourself in every moment. Do you. Be natural. If a handshake is what feels comfortable, do that. I'm a non-invasive half-hugger, kiss-on-the-cheek kind of guy. That's what I feel comfortable giving, and I'm normally in a place when I ask a girl out that this would probably be okay with her. If a date had an issue with me doing something that simple, she's probably not my girl. RED FLAG ALERT!
MP: I have been surprised on a few first dates with personality and looks issues, one of which you saw on my episode. I just react as much like a gentleman as possible. Calling them out or getting in some uncomfortable discussion over it is not me. People do what they do, be it weird, out of simple insecurity, or low self-esteem. You are not going to teach or change anyone. Control what you can control. I was raised as a Southern gentleman, and I will be that unless I'm disrespected. Then things could get uncomfortable.
MP: Yes! That was the date from hell. If there was a platinum medal in the Olympics of worst dates, she is front and center on my podium. To be clear, that was my GTFO immediately moment. First ever!
MP: I try not to dwell on that emotion. The answer, honestly, is sometimes yes. I'm human and still single. You have your good days and bad. It's tough waiting for that true love for 37 years. You try not to lose a piece of yourself every time you are disappointed. Did I share too little? Did I give too much? You can put up walls trying to protect yourself from history not repeating itself. I hope to stay true to my heart, stay open, stay vulnerable. If you try to protect and hide pieces of yourself because of past hurts, I feel you hinder your future growth in love and finding that person who loves not parts, but the epitome of who you are.
Chloe and I definitely had a connection, but she was still tied up emotionally with her ex. At the end of the day, our connection was not profound enough for her to move away from her past. I'm cool with it; we've all been there. I can't tell you her love story. Her ideals of love are her own. My ideals... I want my girl to be as madly in love with me as I am with her. Chloe could not give me what I wanted in that instance. We remain friends. She's still a very sweet, honest and sincere woman. You can never have enough of those in your life. I wish her the best.
MP: The biggest lesson I learned is to stay open and honest. Be true to yourself and true to those you bring into your life. If she's looking for love and you know she's not the one for you... let her go. It saves both of you a lot of drama and misunderstanding. If both parties agree that they are not perfect for each other but want to still have some fun... let that be discussed. Don't assume. That's how I will go about this journey. That's what I've learned. Casual dating and flings will happen; it can be the nature of the online dating beast. I won't allow myself to get wrapped up into the game of it all, the options, opportunities. I can see how one can become jaded and lose focus. So for me, I will be reminded why I'm on these online sites to begin with... to find my one true love.
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