For some reason, Heath Ledger seems like an appropriate place to kick off our petition for celebrities who need a holiday. On National Heath Ledger day, we would take the day off from work (because it's a federal holiday, after all), lounge around in our pajamas, eat chocolate chip mint ice cream and watch A Knight's Tale over and over until we fall into a sugar-induced coma. Then we would wake up, realize that instead of being the chick who was the object of Heath's affection in the movie, we are still the chubster with now-greasy hair that we were when we fell asleep. Then we'd realize that our beloved Heath is still dead, and we'd fall back asleep where we can imagine he's still alive.
We're still having a hell of a time convincing ourselves we live in a Paul Walker-less world. It just seems wrong. To honor Paul Walker Day, we'd probably watch Eight Below (Sorry, Fast & Furious fans, but those loud motors get on our nerves after a while, and we don't want to watch Into the Blue because our self-esteem can't take two hours of a bikini clad Jessica Alba.) After that, we'd probably surf pictures of Paul on Google for a while, and then we'd go do something good for mankind (because Paul was a humble humanitarian). We'd end the day with a stroll along the ocean (because Paul loved the ocean).
Chris Farley Appreciation Day could also be Chris Farley/SNL Alum Appreciation Day since Farley is one of several Saturday Night Live cast members who are no longer with us. Lord, do we miss this guy. We're still not over his passing. To think we have to live out our lives without ever seeing another Matt Foley skit or a Tommy Boy movie just doesn't sit right with us and never will. We threw "appreciation" into the name of this important day because of how we so appreciate people who make us laugh and forget our worries, if only for a few minutes. We'd pass this day watching Saturday Night Live: The Best of Chris Farley surrounded by like-minded Farley fans. We would speak in Farley quotes all day and make a board game out of trivia associated with Farley's characters.
The People's Princess was torn from our lives so suddenly, and we're still bitter about it. She had so much to contribute to both humankind and womankind. She was an example of a woman who had experienced disappointment and heartbreak in her life, and like so many of us, she was doing her best to maintain who she was while making things up as she went along. For this special day, we would honor our favorite princess by dressing up in something amazing and reading to little kids at our neighborhood elementary school. Then we'd go on a date with a really hot guy much younger than us as a mental middle finger to our cheating ex-husband.
We're still not convinced that John F. Kennedy Jr. is actually dead. Sometimes we think the whole "plane crash" thing was staged and he and his wife and her sister are living it up in a quiet, remote, tropical island mansion fit for the prince of Camelot. After all, he and his wife had separated two days before the flight and we all know how Mrs. Kennedy hated being in the public eye — maybe John-John decided to do something about it! Back to reality — we would celebrate John F. Kennedy Jr. Day by going for a run, dressing in our most festive '80s attire (since for some reason we equate JFK Jr. with the '80s) and reading up on juicy Kennedy scandals.
How can so much talent be so senselessly wiped out? It's just wrong. Whitney Houston Day could be celebrated in only one way. For one day, we'd get to walk around like a diva, pretending to be better than everyone else (because secretly we know we are). We would take our amazing self to a karaoke bar, where we would proceed to butcher "I Will Always Love You" and other Houston hits. We would tell the crowd that it's Whitney Houston Day so they would forgive us and join in the fun.
James Gandolfini Day might be our favorite of all our dead celebrity holidays. We'd channel Tony Soprano by eating whatever the hell we wanted (starting with a pound of a bacon for breakfast), going old school on everyone around us — throwing political correctness to the wind — and we'd drop the F-bomb every other word. We'd tell everyone around us what to do like a boss — a mob boss.
We'd put these two pop culture icons together into one day of disastrous glamour. We'd start drinking as soon as we got out of bed and fulfill a lifelong fantasy of dressing like Marilyn Monroe in public (complete with something made of real or fake fur and sexy heels). We'd have a professional photographer take pictures of us in our best Marilyn Monroe poses and then we'd sleep with someone we really, really shouldn't sleep with. It would be a one-day-a-year-pass to live a life of glamour and scandal.
Of course, there are countless celebrities who have passed. What dead celeb holiday do you think we should have and how would you celebrate it? Share in the comments section below.
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