Not So Hot
Just in time for Valentine's Day, we turn the hottest moves from the music industry's sexiest stars into ridiculous GIFs. After watching this, you're going to feel a lot better about yourself on the dance floor. (Warning: Some of these GIFs are not suitable for work.)
Touted as the "rapiest" tune and video in recent history, Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" gives us ample hot-turned-not GIF moments. In this GIF, the '80s called, and it wants its aerobic workout back.
Is it just me or does this set smell funny?
"Can't Remember to Forget You"
Shakira might be the sexiest video vixen of all time, and we're a big fan of her trademark wall dances. When you GIF this move up, however, it kind of looks like she's got an itch in an awkward spot that she's trying to politely scratch. And whatever she's got, Rihanna is suffering from it, too.
"Pour It Up"
Speaking of Rihanna, this was probably supposed to be a red-hot move in the "Pour It Up" video, but when you cherry-pick it and hit repeat, it looks like she fell out of the chair and had a hard time getting up. Maybe Rihanna's lyrics should have said, "That's how we fall out," instead of "That's how we ball out."
Aaaaannnnd back to Shakira. Don't get us wrong, we'd kill to look like how Shakira looks on a bad day, and "She Wolf" has got to be one of the hottest videos ever made. That said, some of the moves in it make us arch a brow — not only because they look questionable when Shakira does them but because of how we think we'd look if we did them. For example, this little move reminds us of what our stomach must look like when we've eaten something it doesn't like.
And this move is a throwback to how we used to dance in the living room as kids when we were out of ideas but the song was still playing.
Shakira briefly channels a yoga instructor.
"Hero" to "Freak"
Remember how much we fell for Enrique Iglesias in his "Hero" video and how we would have given away all of our worldly possessions to trade places with Jennifer Love Hewitt? (Right up until Mickey Rourke kicked Enrique's a**, that is — and he cried like a little girl — that wasn't the least bit hot.)
Nowadays, Enrique is less of a hero and more of a freak as demonstrated in his recent "Freak" video. What is he doing to that girl's butt? We don't know, but it's not hot. (We're hoping for Enrique's sake that this girl didn't have Mexican food for lunch!) When did our hero turn into a Jersey Shore frat boy? (Probably after he got his a** kicked by Mickey Rourke.)
Wow. Someone's been spending a little too much time alone. (And we thought our Valentine's Day was pathetic.) Where was Miley Cyrus' mother during this? Miley doesn't know where that sledgehammer has been! Didn't her mother teach her not to put dirty things in her mouth?
Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty" video contains a hotness that transcends time. There will never be a time when that video will not be filled with timeless scorchingness (yes, we made that word up, but we felt the occasion called for it). This was the best we could do for stuff that's supposed to look hot but isn't, but even this is kind of hot in a "I DGAF" kind of way.
"Slave 4 U"
Not to be outdone by her then-contemporary, Britney Spears turned up the heat (literally) and got sweaty with dancers who wanted Brit Brit to be their slave. Again, it was tough finding even one second of this video that would GIF in a way that is un-hot, but we're professionals. Heat can wear on a gal's nerves, and here, Spears looks like she's going to lose her s*** if those sweaty bodies don't get off of her.