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Esquire acquires Sienna Miller's tales of affairs & sabotage

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Sienna Miller: "I was so sick of myself"

Sienna Miller may have found happiness as a new mom, but her past relationships continue to make headline news. Check out revealing highlights from the star's latest Esquire interview here.

Sienna Miller: "I was so sick of myself"

Sienna Miller's rocky love life has had a lasting effect on her career. The actress, who became a mom in July 2012, has opened up to Esquire U.K. about fame, scandal and making peace with ex-fiancé Jude Law.

"One day I was anonymous, the next day people were outside my flat," the beauty said of her fast track into the spotlight over a decade ago.

"I was really naive, I think. I was a young 21. Not green as grass — I was by no means an innocent — but I had faith in the goodness of everyone. I was very open. And that led me into all sorts of situations that backfired."

Cheating celebrities caught in the act >>

Explaining that her upbringing played a role in her poor decision making, the woman who made headlines for having an affair with married actor Balthazar Getty in 2008 went on to say her parents "were always very liberal and follow-your-heart."

"That's a wonderful way to live and I'm really glad I experienced it, but at the end of the day there has to be consciousness associated with those decisions and I don't think there was for a lot of my life."

"I sabotaged things," she added of failing to realize choices in her personal life would have consequences. "I burnt a lot of bridges."

"I had no business sense whatsoever... it was all about the experience. And that translated to how I behaved outside work. On set, I was first to arrive, last to leave, best friends with the crew, totally professional, no d**king around. But when I wasn't at work, I wasn't behaving the way you should. I'm very lucky to have a second chance in that town."

Jude Law is working on being a "happier" person >>

While former fiancé Jude Law's affair with the nanny made headlines in 2005, details of her relationship with actor Daniel Craig during that same time period are just now emerging. On the stand at the News of the World phone hacking trial on Monday, Jan. 27, Law confirmed he confronted his longtime friend about the affair.

"We had known each other many, many years," Law is quoted as telling the court. "So the conversation took on all sorts of turns."

Reflecting back on that time period, Miller told Esquire, "I felt like I had no control over any aspect of my life, professionally or personally. So I deliberately disappeared. I was sick of myself, to be honest, or sick of that perception of me. It all felt so f***ing dirty."

These days, Miller is mom to a sweetheart named Marlowe and engaged to marry Tom Sturridge. Not only have she and Law made peace with their past, she's ready to step back into the spotlight.

"I don't feel scared at all," she explained. "I feel really settled. I have a wonderful life. I'm up every morning with a little baby. That gives you incredible perspective. It's such a gift. And it's grounding in a way you can't describe. And going back to work is really exciting and fun."

Miller's full interview is available in the Esquire U.K. March 2014 issue.

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