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James Gandolfini: 10 Obscure Tony Soprano quotes

Kat Hobza resides in sunny Western Montana. She is the Senior Authoress Specializing in Sarcasm at www.funnyfreelance.com. Okay, she’s the only authoress at funny freelance. When she’s not formulating tongue-in-cheek ideas and content as...

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James Gandolfini was such an accomplished actor before he was taken from us much too suddenly. We dug for a few lesser-known quotes from the Gandolfini character we had a love/hate relationship with — Tony Soprano.

James Gandolfini

1

On being positive

"Even a broken clock is right twice a day."

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2

On why Tony Soprano became a mob boss

"How come I'm not making freakin' pots in Peru? You're born to this s***. You are what you are."

3

On parenting

When Tony’s daughter, Meadow, is talking about a sex scandal at the White House during breakfast, and Tony asks her to drop it, Meadow reminds her dad that it’s the '90s and parents talk to their kids about sex. Tony replies, "Yeah, but that's where you're wrong. You see out there it's the 1990s, but in this house it's 1954."

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4

On the circle of life

After Tony tells his psychiatrist, Dr. Melfi, that he saw a woman pushing a baby in a stroller in one direction on the sidewalk and coming the other way he saw "this old lady in a wheelchair starin’ off into space," Dr. Melfi says, "The circle of life." Tony answers, "Circle-jerk of life. Where’s the dignity?"

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5

On dream interpretation

Dr. Melfi tries to help Tony analyze a painting and his dreams, which infuriates Tony. "Trees, ducks. What the f*** are you, Ranger Rick? I’ll tell you, some job you shrinks got! You think everybody is lying to you while you’re pulling scams on them!"

6

On motivating people

When Tony is having a hard time getting someone to talk through conventional means, it is suggested to him that there is one thing "no man wants to go through life without." Tony thinks that is a brilliant idea and says, "Paulie! Get the bolt cutters from out of the trunk. Ariel, we’re goin’ to Plan B."

7

On admiration

To his mother: "You know, everyone thought Dad was the ruthless one. But I gotta hand it to you. If you'd been born after those feminists, you woulda been the real gangster."

8

On stayin' classy

After Tony's sister, Janice, tells Tony's wife, Carmela, about how Tony’s father shot through his mother’s beehive hairdo one day when she was nagging at him, Carmela can’t believe Tony never told her that story and Janice says, "What’s the big deal?" Tony answers, "Cause it makes us look like a f***in' dysfunctional family."

9

On having goals

After Christopher says "Life’s too short," Tony says, "It’s also too short to live it like a f***in' lackey."

10

On looking out for his fellow man

When Tony urges Dr. Melfi to leave town for a while, she says she has patients who are suicidal. Tony quips, "Well, they're not gonna feel any better about their life if you get clipped."

Photo credit: WENN
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