Seeing the guys' opinions of each other is always interesting to me. I can definitely tell that tension in the house is building as the guys start to form stronger feelings for me.
I was so excited for my date with Tom this week. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to learn how to fly! Tom was so comforting the whole time. I was really nervous flying the plane, but Tom eased my nerves and made everything OK. It was great to see what he does on a daily basis. I totally respect Tom's job, but it's a very risky one, and to be the wife of a pilot, you have to get used to that. I thought my date with Tom was fine until the very end; things got pretty awkward, and he left me feeling weird about what had happened. I couldn't tell if he was into me or not. Watching the episode and seeing Tom so upset really broke my heart.
The "Friday Night Lights" evening with the guys was so much fun. I wish Nate could have been there with us, but I thought it was extremely sweet of him to go be a part of his best friend's wedding.
As soon as the opportunity presented itself, I pulled Tom aside to hear what exactly was going on in his head. I wanted to address why our date had ended so awkwardly, and I was very taken aback by what he had to say.
Next, I chatted with Collin for a bit. It's always great when we're together because he's been in this situation before with other guys competing for a girl's attention, so he knows how it works. Because of this, he definitely comes across as the most calm out of all the guys. I was able to talk to Jake at the game, too, and I think we have a great connection with each other. We share a lot of the same beliefs and come from similar backgrounds. I've dated several football players in the past, and they have all been defensive linemen. Overall, the night was a blast; the guys were adorable with their cheering routines.
I was looking forward to having my second date with Todd. Although it was pretty cold outside, being in an empty stadium was neat, and the experience was extra special for me because I'm 100 percent in my comfort zone when I'm near a football field. Todd expressed his feelings for me, but I noticed there wasn't much for us to talk about. While I feel like we have an amazing connection, part of me feels like he's slowly beginning to fade away. I'm still trying to figure out if there's enough there for Todd and I to have a long-term relationship.
I was so thrilled about going to the racetrack. I am a former Miss Motorsports so this is right up my alley. It was a beautiful night. I've never dirt-raced before so I was a little nervous, but I really wanted to beat Dylan. He ended up winning, but it was OK. When we walking up to the vintage car, I knew I needed to get everything off my chest about how I was feeling, etc. I am so glad we're on the same page because I'm really starting to fall for him.
During eliminations this week, my emotions were running wild, and I was so sorry to have to let Tom go. He has a great heart, but I don't think he's ready to commit again. It really upsets me to see that he's allowing something so negative from his past to define him right now.
Thank you all for watching this week. I hope you have a Merry Christmas!
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