If you're tired of your man constantly comparing your cooking to his mother's, then dating a computer program is definitely for you. We encourage you to trade in his mother for a motherboard. Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix), in the movie Her, is thrilled his girlfriend Samantha (the voice of Scarlett Johansson), doesn't have any in-laws, making for easy-breezy holidays.
An O.S. doesn't need a gadget, it is one. Hate the lack of conversation at dinner because your human BF is scrolling through his iPhone and texting while you choke down your salmon meatballs in silence? We're here to tell you that an operating system will always be eager to chat with its honey and hear about your day — right after his Pentium processor backs him up to the cloud, of course.
An O.S. will never leave you. Ever. As long as you continue to download software updates, you and your digital dude can shareware forever. You may need to assist him by sliding the engagement ring onto your own finger, but that's a small price to pay for a partner whose gigabytes are 100 percent committed to uploading you.
Computer fiancés do most of the work. Think about how much easier it will be to plan your perfect wedding when he can follow up with the caterer, venue, florist and seamstress for you. Just collect your favorite images on your Pinterest board and leave the rest to your B.F.O.S.
What girl doesn't like a plug-in sex toy? This brings a whole new meaning to the terms "download" and "spreadsheet."
Always fancied a romantic excursion in the Maldives? Surf lessons in Belize? Cooking school in Paris? Any of these trips would be incredibly expensive for two people, but now they're available at half the price since your new silicon spouse fits into your carry-on. Just make sure you remember to retrieve him after going through security at the airport.
Sure, you work hard to make ends meet, but what about him? Get your cyber partner set up with an Ameritrade account and let the money roll in. He can buy, sell and trade stocks while you're at the office, and handle all your retirement plans. What a relief!
While it is true your man-modem may acquire a virus, simply install the latest version of Norton Utilities onto his super hard drive and you should remain disease-free. Worst-case scenario: you can always install a Trojan horse.
That's what firewalls are made for. Even though he's a computer program, he's still the male version, after all. We recommend installing a firewall to block him from surfing Match.com or OkCupid.com and prevent any file-sharing infidelities.
Divorces can be messy and expensive. If you decide you want out, there's no need to hire a lawyer — your Gmail-male can disappear at the click of a button. Gotta love technology.
Her is currently playing in movie theaters everywhere.
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