Believe it or not, this woman — dressed in sensible yellow heels and wrapped in enough material to make full-length drapes — is Victoria's Secret model Yasmeen Ghauri, circa 1996.
This seemed like a good idea in lingerie about 16 years ago. It still may fly — if your boyfriend is a Big Bang Theory or Area 51 enthusiast.
Cue yesteryear's sassy and saucy Tyra Banks. This was the first year we really saw the introduction of the "angel wing," though in the early days, it was paired with granny panties.
Inexplicably, a year later, the wings got smaller and the underwear got bigger. You can keep the wings, but we'd like to discuss the reintroduction of the skirt-bottom underwear.
In 2000, before she was Mrs. Tom Brady, fan favorite Gisele Bündchen knocked the lingerie world on its backside with this daring number.
My, what a difference a year can make. The year before, golden girl Bündchen had been rocking a goddess look, and a year later, this poor thing got stuck wearing this disaster. (Is this Miley Cyrus' inspiration for high-waisted bottoms?)
Grandma always told us to wear a hat when it's cold outside. She assumed we'd wear a coat — oh, and a shirt and pants to go with the hat.
Modeling pa Naomi Campbell struts down the Victoria's Secret runway in this getup that makes soccer moms everywhere cringe. Look at all those straps! Who's got that kind of time?
Remember 2005, aka "The Year of the Band-Aid"? Yeah, neither do we. We're not sure what statement Victoria was trying to make in 2003 and 2005, but we're grateful no one was listening.
The flawless Karolina Kurkova modeled the 2006 Fantasy Bra. This look makes us think, "Who doesn't pair a $6.5 million bra with yoga pants?"
This design was big in Scotland in 2007, because as we all know, Scotland is known for its plaid — and Jurassic pheasants with alarmingly long tail feathers.
In 2008, someone wrapped up God's gift to men — Heidi Klum — in Victoria's Secret lingerie, stuck a big bow on her back and shoved her out on stage. Anyone else notice how fast we went from diamond-studded bras and yoga pants to overly dramatic back accessories?
Hmmm, it would appear someone drew the short straw backstage and had to pretend to be excited to wear this odd Victoria's Secret concoction. That someone, as it turns out, is Behati Prinsloo, or soon-to-be Mrs. Adam Levine.
This was the year that the "angel wings" started to outweigh the angels. This proud peacock knows how to shake her tail feathers.
Alessandra Ambrosio takes the Victoria's Secret Vegas-showgirl look to new and exciting levels by modeling what appears to be a roulette wheel on her back. Can you say, "Skin City"?
In addition to feathers and wings, Victoria occasionally likes to hit us with circus and animal designs. This particular look, however, seems to be having a bit of an identity crisis. We're almost understanding the sort of ski-bunny aspect of this outfit, but can someone please explain the tail?
We got a little preview of the 2013 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, but we can't wait to see the glamorous production in its entirety. We would give anything for the shoes (and in this case, boots) that the VS models get to wear. (Be warned, this is what happens when you wear angel wings too close to an industrial fan.)
We leave you with Hilary Rhoda and this conversation starter. Because who among us hasn't shouted at the kids, as we're trying to get to work and school on time, "Has anyone seen my parakeet-feather sleeves? They were right here last night!"
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