He Wants To Check Us For Ticks?
We love country hunk Brad Paisley, even though (and sometimes because) his lyrics make us say, "huh?" Here are a few classic foot-stompin', giggle-inducing Paisley lyrics.
You want to what?
In "Ticks" Paisley starts off strong — "'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight (OK, we love dim lighting), I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks (you've got our attention), I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers (sigh), and I'd like to check you for ticks (you want to what?). Talk about taking an unexpected and dramatic turn into gross. We were really feeling the back country drive in the moonlight, making out, a field of flowers but then having bugs removed from us like we're chimps in the wild? No thanks. Just, ewww. Does Paisley know where ticks hide? Yuck. If you find a tick on us, we want to throw up, not throw down in a field of flowers.
Paisley's song "Camouflage" professes, "You can blend in in the country, you can stand out in the fashion world, be invisible to a whitetail, irresistible to a redneck girl."
If you're city folk, a whitetail is a deer, camouflage is that brown, green and black material that hunters and country boys (and girls) wear and it does make redneck boys irresistible to redneck girls. Why? There is just something about a guy who walks through the door in camouflage after he's been hunting or sitting in a duck blind all day. He smells like outside, and if Ralph Lauren could bottle that s***, he and his great-great-grandkids would never have to work another day in their lives.
Paisley tickles our funny bone with his all-too-true tale, "Online," of a chubby guy who lives in his mom's basement, but morphs into a tall, rich celebrity when he's online.
"I get home, I kiss my mom and she fixes me a snack. I head down to my basement bedroom and fire up my Mac. In real life the only time I ever been to L.A. was when I got the chance, with the marching band, to play tuba in the Rose Parade." Wow, this little ditty really strikes a chord with some of us, don't it? (Sorry, kind of got caught up in the country thing for a second.) It reminds us of that saying, "If only I were as awesome as I make myself appear on Facebook."
Step aside Dr. Ruth and Dr. Phil. Paisley tackles the ageless difference between the sexes with his "I'm Still a Guy."
"When you see a deer, you see Bambi and I see antlers up on the wall. When you see a priceless French painting, I see a drunk, naked girl." This boys-will-be-boys anthem reassures us that real men still exist (Paisley's "still got a pair"), and while guys may be all sweet behind closed doors, they'll still punch someone in the face if they make a pass at us.
Paisley has a knack for singing what we're all thinking, and his reality TV star bashing "Celebrity" is a prime example. His tongue is firmly planted in his cheek with lyrics that say, "Someday I'm gonna be famous, do I have talent? Well no. These days you don't really need it thanks to reality shows. Can't wait to date a supermodel, can't wait to sue my dad, can't wait to wreck a Ferrari on my way to rehab." Well, it sounds kind of silly when he says it like that, doesn't it?
Can't live with ‘em, pass the beer nuts
Why is Paisley such a hero in the country music arena? Because he speaks to the inner caveman in every guy, and he speaks to every woman trying to make a life with that inner caveman. Never did a song underscore this point more solidly than Paisley's "I'm Gonna Miss Her."
This ode to outdoorsmen everywhere talks about a woman who has had it up-to-here with her guy choosing fishing over her, and when she asks him to make a choice, he chooses fishing. Depending on where you've grown up and who you've dated, you either think "Who does that?" or "Yeah, that seems about right." Country boys everywhere high-fived each other the first time they heard, "Well, I love her, but I love to fish, I spend all day out on this lake, and Hell is all I catch."
Image credit: WENN