Let's say for the sake of this discussion that you'd rather your beautiful daughter and mother of your grandchild not grow up to be a party hound and porn actress like Farrah Abraham. While it's unfair to put the decisions of an adult child solely on the mother, in this case we can take away a few parenting how-not-tos from Abraham's mom, Debra Danielson.
If you ever watched Teen Mom, you quickly figured out that Abraham's mother was critical, harsh and treated her daughter like she didn't have a brain in her head and — big surprise — Abraham often acts like she doesn't have a brain in her head.
It's important to stay close to your kids, and you can only do with that with respectful discussions and conversations where everyone is treated equally (even though your teen is not yet your equal, if you want them to be, you have to treat them like that). Danielson was so disconnected from her daughter she denied that Abraham had done a porno! If you're close to your young adult child, they might be less likely to venture into the adult film world and if they do, you'll at least know about it and perhaps they'll share the profits with you!
There's no question that Kris Jenner has pushed all of her children into the limelight for profit, and many times her adult children are the brunt of public ridicule because of it. Do any of her children have a chance for a normal life? Even the baby of the family, the just-turned-18 Kendall Jenner, is posing for provocative photos and being courted by the porn industry. The Kardashians are laughing all the way to the bank, but at what cost? And aren't we all cringing a little on the inside waiting to see how those little dolls on Dance Moms turn out?
There's a simple question to answer when determining if you're a detrimental stage mom: Are you doing what you're doing for your child or for you? Be honest in your answer. If you're in something just to compete with other moms or to validate your mothering, you're in it for the wrong reasons. If your child shows a genuine interest and talent in something, then be supportive, but not pushy. There's a huge difference, and you need to learn where that line is.
An example of a non-stage mom is Cindy Crawford. Her young daughter did some modeling at 10 years old. Crawford quickly decided that was too young, and back-burnered her daughter's career because she felt that was what was best for her daughter. Considering how much fame and fortune would come to any Crawford child that decides to model, Crawford clearly acted in the best interest of her daughter.
One of the most effective things you can do as a parent to ensure that your daughter not turn into a reality TV train wreck is to watch reality TV with her. Regardless of where you stand on reality TV, it's here to stay for the time being and your daughter is watching it with or without you. Tuning into the sideshows of reality TV will allow you to provide some perspective for your daughter as she watches young women her age act in an unflattering way, but it will also help you dissect the relationship between said train wreck and her mother to determine what improvements you can make in your parenting.
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