We don't know about you, but we don't know too many 12-year-olds who hit up the clubs and then go looking for some hugs and Chinese food.
Then again, not all 12-year-olds are viral music-sensation Alison Gold.
The pre-teen singer is another prodigy of the Ark Music Factory, a vanity record company best known for introducing us to Rebecca Black and her 2011 ode to the weekend, "Friday." Ark chief Patrice Wilson knows that young girl + ridiculous lyrics + even more ridiculous videos = viral success — and he hit the jackpot with "Chinese Food."
Gold starts the song by relaying a common problem that happens to girls her age: "After ballin’, I go clubbin’, then I’m huggin'" and then she's hungry... and grumpy. Luckily, she finds a Chinese restaurant on her way home.
And she really loves Chinese food. Like, a lot.
"I love Chinese Food. You know that it's true. I love fried rice. I love noo-dulls. I love chow mein. Chow mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mein," she sings. Eventually, a giant panda shows up and — surprise! — it's Wilson. He does a weird little rap about loving sweet-and-sour sauce and rhymes broccoli with Monopoly.
Oh, and the video is subtitled in several different languages.
The whole thing is too absurd — and offensive — to be a mistake. It's working, though: The video already has 2.8 million views and it's expected to hit the Billboard charts next week, according to The Hollywood Reporter.
Is the video for "Chinese Food" funny or really offensive? Sound off below!
Photo credit: Ark Music Factory