Jennifer Lopez is one of the biggest stars in the world — and now with the news that she's rejoining American Idol as a judge, her fame is only growing. But incredibly, the triple threat actress/singer/dancer felt like she was bad at a huge part of her career for years after she became famous!
That's right, the woman who has made a career out of her sexy music, wardrobe and booty was incredibly insecure until well over a decade into her fame.
When asked by Cosmopolitan when she finally felt like she earned her fame, she replied, "It was after I had kids to be honest… The biggest insecurity I had was my singing. Even though I had sold 70 million records, there was this feeling like, I'm not good at this."
"And while I was married to [former husband] Marc [Anthony], he helped me get over it. He kept telling me, 'You're the only one holding yourself back from reaching your full potential as a singer. You have to let go'… I was always so insecure and just kind of going along. Then I grew, little by little, and realized, wait a minute, this is not a fluke. I'm not a mistake — I work my a** off. And I know what I'm doing."
But that doesn't mean Lopez doesn't make an occasional misstep — for example, performing for a brutal dictator on his birthday.
"I know that being seen as a role model means taking responsibility for all my actions," she told the mag. "I am human, and of course, sometimes I make mistakes. But I promise that when I fall, I get back up. When I am wrong, I will learn the lesson and move on to face other challenges. For me, that's what creating your own life is. Doing your best work while being your best self."
Being her best self includes having a supportive partner, and she said she's found that in boyfriend Beau "Casper" Smart, who accidentally revealed her return to the Idol table in August.
"For me, it's about having a great partner to walk this life with," she explained. "I have my own high standards for what I want in a partner and how I want to be treated. I bring a lot to the table. I'm not talking about material things but what I have to offer as a person — love and loyalty and all the things that make a good relationship."
"It's funny, early on with Beau, I remember telling him how I have a real button on being ignored. And he was like, 'Listen, if somebody ignores you, then forget them. They don't deserve to have your attention.' But it's funny. Sometimes when we don't get it, we try to get it in a negative way, you know?"
Read the complete interview with Jennifer Lopez in the October issue of Cosmopolitan, on newsstands Sept. 10.
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