Joan Rivers
Romancing the Joan

15 Must-read quotes from
The Joan

After a sneak peek at Romancing the Joan, we know one thing for certain: Joan Rivers is as funny as ever, even on her journey toward love/husband No. 3.

That Ms. Rivers. We simply adore her and we're so glad we've been able to take part in her quest for love with the scent gents. Even during her dating show, Rivers wasn't afraid to let loose with her sharp tongue. We've watched all the episodes and these are our favorite lines from her perfect, medically sculpted lips to your... eyes.

Gallery: The best of Joan Rivers >>


"I'm not a cougar. I'm a sabre-tooth tiger."


"A true gentleman always carries his own restraints."


"Settle down, everyone. One at a time... at least for now!"


"It was a tough, tough night. I had to say goodbye to 10 wonderful men
that I'd known for at least two... maybe three hours. I felt just like Taylor Swift!"


"It's like Eyes Wide Shut but with heterosexual tension, you know?"


"Are you sure he's French? He doesn't smell French."

Exclusive: Joan Rivers looks for love on new reality show >>


"Who'd I piss off to deserve this? Was it Seacrest?"


"OK, OK. I might have had one or two drinks when I was in makeup. OK, seven."


"I'm so proud of you! If the doctor had left my tear ducts, I'd be crying right now."


"This will kill our sex life. I don't want to just look up and see me!"


"Part of love is stepping on people's hearts and crushing their dreams."


"The show is called Romancing the Joan, not Melissa Murders Fun."


"I've always had a soft spot in my heart for shameless, self-promoting whores."

Romancing the Joan: Meet the bachelor scent gents! >>


"Melissa is a terrible liar and a bit of a tramp. I'm so proud — I did really well with her."


"I don't wanna be the poor schmuck filming his exit interview."

In Romancing the Joan, Joan Rivers must choose between 18 bachelors. Lucky for you, you can choose them all at

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Comments on "Joan Rivers' funniest quotes from Romancing the Joan"

Learjet August 28, 2013 | 1:16 PM

I love Joan! Nobody around is as quick-witted ad off-the-cuff funny as she is! She's brilliant!

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