Tonight's finale of True Blood kind of felt like two episodes. (Now that we think about it, so did last week's episode. Hmm, is this some kind of new trend we haven't caught on to yet?) The first 30 minutes, we knew where the show was heading. The last 30 minutes left us feeling dazed and confused. Full of, "Wait, what?" moments. But we liked it, in a way. Out with the old, in with the new, right?
After a nice little life lament with Alcide who's suddenly Mr. Nice Guy, Sookie (Anna Paquin) goes back to Warlow. He's been preparing the faerie realm for a little soul mate ritual full of flowers and ribbon. Sookie thinks it's sweet but asks him if he'd mind just dating her for a while.
Girl shouldn't have messed with his flowers.
He slaps her and starts to strangle her, telling her he didn't wait thousands of years to casually date her. Fantastic. He is a psycho vampire after all!
Meanwhile, the vampires return to Bon Temps with Bill (Stephen Moyer) at the lead. They are high on Bill's blood and still walking in the sun. How do vampires celebrate with each other? They all get naked, of course.
Pam left the little orgy party and goes after Eric, leaving Tara to watch Willa.
Bill discovers his abilities are gone. So long Billith.
Now that vampire Bill is back, he feels bad about the deal he made with Sookie, which left her with the raw end of the deal as a vampire bride. Jessica encourages him to go save Sookie. With Adeline's help, Jason, Violet and Bill are able to get into the faerie realm just in time to save Sookie.
Bill stays behind to deal with Warlow, but Bill isn't strong enough to hold him back.
Warlow shows up at Sookie's house.
Just in time, Niall kinda breaks through from wherever he's been banished to and grabs Warlow. Jason stabs Warlow in the heart and he collapses into a blood bag. For all those thousands of years Warlow's been haunting Sookie's family, it really wasn't that hard to kill him.
Sookie and Jason pull Niall out of the other dimension. (That was easy too.)
When Warlow dies, Lilith's essence leaves Bill and the vampires who drank from him.
Flash to Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) who's lying naked on the sunny, snowy slopes of Sweden reading a book. OK, that's weird. But at least he's back! We'll take what we can get, right?
At least, that's what we think. Until Lilith's essence leaves him as well, and he bursts into flames.
He screams, "No!" And collapses in a ball of fire. We don't actually see him die though, so we're not counting him out just yet. Pam did go to find him after all. Will she save him just in time?
Flash forward to six months later. (Wait, what?) You read right.
Here is an update on the group:
Hep V is still around and mutating.
Bill is the author of a tell-all book recounting Burrell and his Billith days, called And God Bled, that is number one on the New York Times bestseller list.
Alcide and Sookie are in a serious, stable relationship. (We told you there were lots of moments like this. More to come.)
The show is also sure to show us that all is well in the Jason and Violet camp as well. He's doing a really good job of making her happy. Ahem. But she's not returning the favor just yet. She wasn't kidding when she said he had to wait.
Every human is getting tested to be sure they aren't a carrier of Hep V. Sam offers a party at Bellefleur's Bar (No longer Merlotte's) for all those who get tested for Hep V and agree to enter into a feeding relationship with a vampire. The vampire, in exchange, will provide the family with protection against other supernatural threats. A lot of people walk from the room, thinking the idea is insane.
At the party, Tara's mother shows up and apologizes to her daughter for everything. She says she can't believe that sometimes she forgot to even feed Tara and offers to be Tara's feeder now. Tara bites her mother's neck.
Adeline isn't an old woman yet. She's still a spunky-looking teenager. Jessica vows to protect Andy and Adeline whether they want it or not as penance for her crimes against them. No blood necessary.
Bill shows up at the party just in time to say hi to Sookie and Alcide before they leave. Bill offers them his protection, but they turn it down.
Cue the blood thirsty, crazy vampire/zombies that are apparently the Hep V victims.
A horde of them arrives in town during the party and stalk toward the humans.
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