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Oprah: Best celebrity un-apologies

Kat Hobza resides in sunny Western Montana. She is the Senior Authoress Specializing in Sarcasm at Okay, shes the only authoress at funny freelance. When shes not formulating tongue-in-cheek ideas and content as S...

I'm sorry I have
to be sorry

"I'm sorry" can be two of the most difficult words to say in the English language, especially for celebrities who aren't really sorry, but whose PR reps are telling them to issue an apology. Here are a few of our favorite celebrity un-apologies.
I'm sorry I have  to be sorry
In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, Oprah Winfrey described a Pretty Woman experience she had in Zurich, Switzerland, where a boutique clerk refused to show Ms. O a $38,000 purse. Oprah cried racism, and a media frenzy ensued. Later, Winfrey told CNN that she was "sorry it got blown up." That's a slightly cryptic way of saying, "I'm not sorry I called that clerk out, but I'm sorry everyone's making such a big deal out of it."
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I'm sorry I have  to be sorry
Charlie Sheen
What can we expect when a guy who lives his life unapologetically issues an apology? Complete and utter insincerity. In a phone interview with TMZ, Charlie Sheen talked about his Two and a Half Men replacement, Ashton Kutcher. "I'm tired of pretending the show doesn't suck. I'm tired of pretending Ashton doesn't suck." Sheen later said he was sorry for throwing Kutcher in the crossfire, but stood behind the rest of his statement. In other words, Sheen is sorry the show Ashton stars in sucks.
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I'm sorry I have  to be sorry
Kanye West
When you're God, you don't have to apologize. And if you do, you don't have to mean it. After Kanye West grabbed the mic away from Taylor Swift at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, he blogged, "I feel like Ben Stiller in Meet the Parents when he messed up everything and Robert De Niro asked him to leave." West allegedly called Swift to personally apologize, but in a recent interview with the New York Times, West said that anyone looking for an apology could stop reading the interview. OK, then.
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I'm sorry I have  to be sorry
Chris Brown
In March 2011, Chris Brown wigged out on the Good Morning America set when he was asked about the restraining order Rihanna had against him. A cooler was thrown and a window in his dressing room was smashed. Brown claimed the show exploited him. After leaving the studio shirtless, Brown tweeted, "I'm so tired of people bringing this past **** up. Yet we praise Charlie Sheen and other celebs for [their] ****." That's an un-apology with a side of deflection!
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I'm sorry I have  to be sorry
Alec Baldwin
Alec Baldwin is one of Hollywood's biggest enigmas. He's outrageously funny on camera, but acts like a bully off camera. When someone perpetually misbehaves, their apologies (even the sincere ones) start to wear a little thin. So was anyone surprised when Baldwin "apologized" to a reporter after calling him a "queen" by saying, "As someone who fights against homophobia, I apologize"? Best. Un-Apology. Ever.
Photo credit: Izzy/
I'm sorry I have  to be sorry
Tiger Woods

After a married Tiger Woods was exposed for being a bit of a he-whore, he issued what came across as the most arrogant "apology" in history. Of his indiscretions he said, "I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. What I did was not acceptable." Yeah. Unacceptable is one way to describe that kind of behavior. Oh well, the universe paid Woods back with years of sub-par performances.

Photo credit: Ai-Wire/

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