At this point, it's very evident that Desiree has poor taste. I mean, look at who she has left? Makes me want to hurl! No wonder she is single; she likes guys who are either macho, complete psychos or cheesy weirdos.
Let's start with Chris.
I was really diggin' Chris until dinner. He sold me on his good looks, playful personality, and let's not forget his edgy pea coat. It wasn't until dinner that I realized he was the dork from last week with the poetry. It wasn't until then when I remembered the painful moment from last week's "feel good" sesh. Only this time, it wasn't necessarily the poetry that annoyed me. No, it was Desiree's reaction to the poem that Chris read to her, which, was probably some s*** that he found online somewhere from a high school student's English homework, and he just rearranged the words. He did it... again.
I often find myself questioning, "What girl would not get accidentally turned off by a guy reading poetry to her?" Well, now I have my answer. Desiree. Desiree would not get turned off. Anyway, Bryden leaves a crushed Desiree after rudely interrupting her date with Chris, only to cause a stink and make his 15 minutes extend a little longer. His girlfriend back home probably had all this bulls*** planned out. Obviously, Chris got the rose now that we know she is down with lyrical gangstas.
The group date was great. I skipped through most of it. But sure, it was great. The only thing I care to point out is that someone drilled Desiree on a sled, and Kasey is still continuing to deny his strong feelings for the feminine male pageant coach from last week. His "cover-ups" are worse then Ali Fedotowsky's sarongs. Brooks gets the group date rose, because at this time, Desiree realizes he is the only seemingly normal guy left.
This two-on-one date was more painful to watch then any other two-on-one dates I've seen before. Michael for sure let the reverse mullet do most of the talking for him. Here is a breakdown of what happened:
Des: "I'm gonna trick the guys tonight and instead of jumping into ice, I'm taking them on a hot tub boat ride. Sorry! I'm boring, but, I obviously work out and need more bikini time on air.
Michael: "Ben talks about his kid, so I'm gonna tell you how I'm white trash by accident."
Des: "That's hot."
Ben: "You guys are f-ing weird. I'm just gonna relax and enjoy this boat full of scalding hot water in the middle of a lake in Germany."
Des: "This is getting heated."
Michael: "Naw babe, that's the water. Chill. Did I tell you about that one time I lost my bear as a child and was traumatized? That's why I would never, ever, leave you."
Des: "Wow, Michael. You are such a strong person."
Ben: "What the s*** is going on here??"
Michael: "Ben doesn't go to church every Sunday. He missed Easter service."
Des: "WTF, Ben?"
Ben: "No seriously, WTF is going on here?"
Michael: "Ben doesn't talk to us. Ever. He is a meany pants."
Ben: "I need a minute, or 5,000."
Des: "Sorry, Ben. Psychotic behavior and bitchy men turn me on. You need to leave."
Ben had a great limo exit. I feel horrible that Des chose to keep around reverse mullet boy over him. For some reason, Desiree is attracted to nerds.
At the ceremony, James took the reins as the new villain. He is apparently more concerned with being the next Bachelor then he is capturing Desiree's heart.
I mean, you can't make this s*** up, people. At this point, I'm guessing Desiree's marriage will last because she is choosing to keep around guys that are wayyyyyy beneath her.
Follow me on twitter: @nataliegetz
More about Natalie Getz...
Natalie Getz is a TV personality, blogger and fashionista from Chicago. She does publicity for Adonia Organics and is a buyer for the clothing boutique Apricot Lane. In her spare time, Getz loves to blog about all things fashion and comedy and is a contributing writer for The Los Angeles Fashion magazine. She also hosts several TV shows and web series and is currently hosting Model Turned Superstar (coming in fall 2013). Getz appeared on ABC's The Bachelor and Bachelor Pad, which she won and in turn took home $125,000. Getz resides in Hermosa Beach, Calif.
Photo credit: ABC