I am a 32 year-old single mom of two. I have a daughter who is eleven, going on twenty-one, and a son who is eight, going on five. I grew up in a small town in Arkansas, moved away for a while after high school, and for reasons unknown (other than temporary insanity), moved back. I have been working for the State government for almost ten years. You would think that a government job would be one of the least humorous jobs on the planet, but you'd be wrong. I work for Employment Security, or, as the greater public refers to it, the Unemployment Office. Every day at my job is hilarious. I have been divorced for almost five years from a man who lived in his own world inside his head. Literally. It was a nasty divorce, and to this day, whenever his new wife gets bored, there's still some leftover "nasty" that she always manages to conjure up. My indifference is probably about the only thing that keeps me from cutting her brake lines and aiming her SUV towards a bridge over shallow water. I am now the proud girlfriend of a man who is nearly perfect in every conceiveable way. Seriously. I ask myself every day what I've done to deserve such a man, and he never ceases to shock the hell out of me. Honestly, he doesn't have to try very hard. I'm really easily pleased, despite what my ex may say about me. For eight long years I was married to a man who did nothing, aspired to do nothing, and didn't care about either one. I never realized that there was a man out there who would clean the kitchen without even a suggestion, vacuum the floors, mow the lawn, help with the laundry, help entertain the kids, hold a steady, well-paying job, and still have time and energy to cuddle on the couch and compliment me every chance he gets. I have no complaints. I actually enjoy going out of my way in doing things just to make him happy. We hardly ever disagree, and have yet to have a real fight. We agree on almost everything, and have most of the same likes and dislikes. One of the most important things to me in a relationship is that my mate have the same weird and twisted sense of humor that I do, and I found one. What's really cool about it, is that I know for a fact that given the chance, he would say the same things about me. But this is about me, right? I've never been so great about these "about me" sections of online profiles. I know I could write the basics...interests, favorite color, occupation, age, etc., but seriously, who really cares about all that stuff? I suppose I consider myself funny. Not funny, weird, but funny, ha ha. I have friends who have told me face-to-face that they like hanging out with me because I'm so funny, and I recently went to a get-together with some good friends I haven't seen in a while, and a couple of them said to the others, "I had forgotten how funny she is." I like to laugh...who doesn't? And I love to make other people laugh. I remember as a little girl, a framed, cross-stitched phrase hanging in my grandmother's hallway that read, "A Wasted Day is One in Which You Have Not Laughed." I really took that to heart. Researchers have actually found that laughter reduces stress hormones, and increases the level of health-enhancing hormones. I know, I'm a female, and how many hormones do I really need to release? But I'll tell ya, I am all about anything that has "health" in front of it that doesn't involve eating something disgusting. I pretty much find the humor in just about everything that comes along in life. Come on, life is funny. So...more about me...I bite my nails. Not just a little, but all the way down to the quick. In fact, I can't remember a time as a child when I didn't bite them. I quit for a while, when my children were born, but they just kept breaking, so I thought, "what's the point?". I love seeing my daughter proud and confident. I like verbalizing the inappropriate/random thoughts in my head, laughing until my stomach hurts, and understanding that perspective is key. I love writing and absorbing myself in a good book. I love shocking the hell out of people. I like chivalry, painting, watersports (not the sexual kind), the burnt edges on saltine crackers, and nostalgia triggered by a certain smell. I love epiphanies, the humor in irony, good quotes, and taking in the individual flow of seperate members of a live band, and then being amazed at how they all intertwine to create one great sound. I like live guitar music outdoors around a fire with good friends and maybe a little bit of Chardonnay. And I love teaching my son and daughter all the things I wish I had known a little earlier. Dislikes? I hate drunken belligerance, standing in line, most Mexican food, and the games we play in love. I dislike shopping for bathing suits, negativity, Tequila, and the end of infatuation. I hate people's securities that rely on other people's flaws. I like to think that I've learned from a lot of my mistakes, that I know basically what I want out of life, and that life isn't what I dreamed it would be, but I can still squeeze a laugh or two out of it anyway.