Yes, I Am STILL Mom Enough.

by T
4 years ago

Today I stumbled into a discussion about motherhood, started by a single mom friend of mine, on why she loves being a single mom and how she wouldn't have it any other way. She asked why she would ever rely upon a man who lies, won't keep his word, and so on, when all she needs is herself and God. She followed up with the sentiment that she's strong enough not to need a man in her's and her son's life.

Her statement was quickly echoed by other single Moms calling out the male species and asserting that single Moms are strong enough not to need husbands and without husbands they can live how they want to live without a man to tell them what to do or lie to them or break their promises. I lent my perspective to the conversation about my own husband and how comparing doesn't do much good and was followed by my friend's sister saying that the women in their family don't need men, but she can't speak for other women who aren't strong enough to be single Moms like they are.

As a married Mom I felt uncomfortable being privy to this discussion. I sank down into my seat and looked down at my lap and fiddled with my fingers. I know they didn't outright say it, but I felt it: I am weaker than they are because I AM married - supposedly to a man who lies simply because he was born with a penis.

I understand that some men aren't like my husband. Joseph is family motivated, he's faithful, he's a good father, and he's an incredible husband. We have had (and will continue to have) many, MANY ups and downs in our marriage, but overall I don't see a liar when I see him. So, why wouldn't I want to be married to him. Am I really giving up something by being married? Am I weaker for choosing to have a partner on my journey of parenthood?

It feels like we're always perpetuating some form of Mommy War. Breastfeed, don't breastfeed. Homeschool, don't homeschool. Work out, don't work out. Be a single mom, don't be a single mom. Maybe we all feel like we aren't being given our fair share of attention and congratulations for doing our job in the way we do it.

So, just in case, I want to say this:

Dear Single Moms: You are strong. You're doing the best you can. I applaud you.

Dear Married Moms: You are strong. You're doing the best you can. I applaud you.

Dear Homeschooling Moms: You are strong. You're doing the best you can. I applaud you.

Dear Public School Moms: You are strong. You're doing the best you can. I applaud you.

Dear Work At Home Moms: You are strong. You're doing the best you can. I applaud you.

Dear Stay At Home Moms: You are strong. You're doing the best you can. I applaud you.

Dear Career Moms: You are strong. You're doing the best you can. I applaud you.

Dear Breastfeeding Moms: You are strong. You're doing the best you can. I applaud you.

Dear Formula Moms: You are strong. You're doing the best you can. I applaud you.

Dear Co-sleeping Moms: You are strong. You're doing the best you can. I applaud you.

Dear "Cry It Out: Moms: You are strong. You're doing the best you can. I applaud you.

Ect, ect, ect...

We're all STILL "Mom Enough". I promise you. We are. All of us.

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