WTF is "pinkie toe bang"?

3 years ago

You know, there are a lot of really, really bad things happening in the world right now. I don’t want to write about any of it. Today, I feel the need to embrace the delusion of normalcy and just think about shit that DOESN’T break my heart.

Therefore, my beloved Fokkerites, I am going to goggle at the weird search terms that lead people to my blog and you are all going to goggle with me. I’m not going to recount the ones that make sense, or even the ones that look strange as hell but make sense in the context of the post. Nope. I am going elucidate about search terms that are so bizarre that I don’t even want to KNOW what they were looking for. We will go larruping through the the batshit crazy search terms, my friends, goggling all the way.

Pinkie Toe Bang

Y’all, I cannot figure out if this is some sort of explosion of pinkie toes, or if it means a pinkie & toe will both blast off, but I have a terrible fear that this is referring to a sex act. An offshoot of what-what of which I have never heard, let alone done.

Lesbian Narcissism

Is this a thing? Some peculiar facet of narcissism know only in lesbians?

Hairy Mom

My God, I had no idea that my unshaven knees would bring boys to the yard.

has anyone married a china wife mail order bride

Sir, let me make a suggestion. If you want to buy a bride, you really want to go with a polymer or plastic wife. China wives are too easily broken, for one thing. Just think of the kind of cuts you could get if she shattered! They are also hard to heat to the correct temperature for mail ordered luvin.

narcissist mail-order bride

Again, if I were shopping for a wife to have shipped to me I would not pick a narcissist one. They are almost as hard to heat up correctly as China brides, to be honest about it.

how do i know if my staff infecion is getting better

Well, first look at your staff. Are any of them covered in spots? Coughing? Running a temperature? If so, they may still have an infection. I suggest you take you whole staff to the doctor, ASAP. Of course, you may be talking about a walking stick kind of staff. In that case, Gandalf, I cannot help you. Ask that fool of a Took. I’ve heard Pip call him a staff expert.

begging for her shit

No. I am not even going to speculate.

anal leakage congressman name

Who is Rick Santorum?

"jesus fuqua"

That would be a horrible name to be stuck with as a kid. However, as a nom-de-plume it would rock.

mezinec na nogi


bluck bongo sexy video picturenews

Please, Jesus Fuqua, let Bluck Bongo be a porn star because that would be epic.

gone home sucks balls

Is there some named, or nicknamed, Sucks Balls? Because in the context of a note on a fridge this would make sense. Otherwise, I got nuthin.

can the tooth fairy fly in the rain

They cannot, actually. The rain washes off the pixie dust and puts some of the smaller tooth fairies at risk of drowning.

mitch mcconnell is a douchebag

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

grannyland porno

Wuh ….?

what happens the tooth fairy comes with the rane

That depends solely on the type of rane. Don’t lump all rane together, okay?

And to finish -- are pinky toes important

Clearly, to some bangers the pinky toes are very, very important.

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