Why we aren't open to adoption

4 years ago

"You still don't have kids?"

"When are you having kids?"

"Oh you guys must do something about that."

"Let me teach you how..."

Perhaps, this 2013, I should start counting how many kinds of these remarks do we get in a year.

It's actually ok to hear these remarks at the first two years of marriage, since we actually didn't want kids during that period. But after 4 years, these get into us.  It equates to pressure.  Actually, after 4 years, we get this:

"How about adoption?"

The answer is no. 

And why?

We'd rather have dogs. Nah. 

We want a child from our own blood. Isn't that a bit selfish? Maybe. But we're just really uncomfy to be taking care of someone whose not ours. 

Here's what can sound more selfish -- for practical economical reasons, having a child is expensive especially in our country.  We are confident we can financially raise one child to college, but we just don't want to.

Truth is, we don't really see having a child as a requirement to our marriage. "Will you feel incomplete that we don't have a child?" we asked this to each other. And actually, we feel complete and happy even if it's just the two of us that we can call family.

Don't get us wrong. We're fond of children. Shrieks, cries or giggles, of babies and toddlers amaze us. We envy our friends who have children.

God knows we want to have a child. Just one, we've been praying for it. But if it's not part of God's plan to give us one, then we'd gladly accept. We won't shake the heavens to deliver a bundle of joy to us.  Because, heaven has already been good to us. We, husband and wife, are a family, no more, no less. 

Does anybody understand this? I hope so.  











This is an article written by one of the incredible members of the SheKnows Community. The SheKnows editorial team has not edited, vetted or endorsed the content of this post. Want to join our amazing community and share your own story? Sign up here.

More from parenting

by Kathleen-Mae Ramas
| in 5 hours
by Claire Gillespie
| in 4 hours
by Lindsey Hunter Lopez
| in 2 hours
by Kathleen-Mae Ramas
| 18 hours ago
by Kathleen-Mae Ramas
| 19 hours ago
by Jennifer Mattern
| a day ago
by Jennifer Mattern
| 4 days ago
by Jennifer Mattern
| 4 days ago
by LifeZette
| 4 days ago
by Catherine Newman
| 5 days ago