Why Am I Feeling Guilty For Being A Stay-At-Home Mom?

4 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

I am addicted to the internet. And especially iPad apps.

There I said it. That is the first step. But wait, I refuse to stop.

I have a Facebook personal page and a Bell On Heels fan page. I tweet. I Instagram. I troll Pinterest.

I adore watching Jimmy Fallon clips on You Tube and sometimes I read books on my Kindle app.

I search real estate sites because my home is listed on the market and a girl has to be ready when THE offer is made.

I read blogs on Mamapedia, BlogHer and BlogLovin.

I shop for children’s clothes at Gap.com. And all those other trendy children sites.

Amazon and Zappos: words cannot express my love for you. Together for life.

I check the weather forecast on Weather.com.

I chat with my fitness friends on My Fitness Pal.

I reserve my kids movies on Redbox.

I watch the news on an app.

I look up words on Dictionary.com. I love Wikipedia.

I have a Walgreens app, a recipe app, Shutterfly and The Bleacher Report.

I frequent Web MD so I can diagnose myself with every disease and disorder known to man. Don’t act like you don’t.

When I am not doing any of that I like to play Song Pop or Quiz Cross. And I have even been sucked into a home design game that I play with my daughter.

I am extremely in touch with the world and everything I could possibly need to know is right at my fingertips.

I still manage to have time to write blogs. Play with my kids. Clean house. Cook meals (kinda cook meals anyway). Do laundry. Pet my Yorkie. Chat with my mom on the phone. Go to school parties. Shop for groceries and supplies. Clean out the car. Talk to a passing neighbor. Meet the girls or the hubby for lunch. Exercise.

Sometimes I even brush my hair. Put on a little makeup. Paint my toenails. Read a good book. Catch my favorite shows. Touch up the paint on the walls. Clean the windows. (Now I am just lying. I NEVER do that last one).

My grandma raised four kids without modern-day technology. If she wanted to know the temperature outside, she WALKED OUTSIDE. If she needed the latest news, she waited until the 6 o’clock news came on and sat down to watch. If she wanted to know what was going on with her friend, she picked up the phone and CALLED.

Sometimes I feel guilty for being a stay-at-home mom. Especially now since my kids are all in school, at least three days a week. Shouldn’t I be doing more?

My hubby works hard so I can be here for our kids and take care of everything on the home front. Well except for mowing the grass. I have a husband and three sons. I will NOT be doing that again anytime soon.

I am in a transition phase. My kids are getting a little older. I am no longer carrying around a baby. Or changing diapers. Or arranging play dates.

I do however make up for all of that with homework. My goodness the homework. Reading, sight words, math facts, websites, studying, projects; there is a lot to do after school these days. That is after we get home from all the after school activities.


Now it seems that I have a morning rush and an evening rush. But what about all of those hours in between? Is it normal to start feeling lost? Like what if you aren’t pulling your weight? Why do I feel this way?

My grandmother became a seamstress working from home as her kids got older. I guess she reached a point where she needed to feel more useful again. As an aside, you do NOT want me sewing anything for you. Ever.

I stopped working in 2005. I had one baby and one on the way. I didn’t know exactly what staying at home meant but I was willing to give it a try. I was a career woman. Or at least I thought I was anyway.

Now I am in the phase where I deliver the kids to school in my half crazed condition due to all of the racing around trying to get them ready and actually in the car. Then I go pick them up in the afternoons. As soon as they step into the car, the fighting and the fussing begins. Stressful.

Then it is off to activities and classes, supper, homework, baths and bed. It is the definition of insanity.

But what about all of those hours in between? Sure there are always things that need to be done when you have a family. I can always find something to do. (Except mow the grass.)

I know this seems silly to some because after all I am able to stay home with my kids. There are mothers out there who are trying to figure out how they are going to feed their children this week. But I can’t be the only one who has felt this way.

Life is full of transitions. I didn’t know how to be a wife until I was one. I didn’t know how to be a mother until I was one. Now I am learning how to be a stay at home mother with kids in school.

I do get to write blogs. Which I adore. I do like to write. I love to write. Maybe I could try to do more of that. A book maybe. Even if no one ever gets to read it.

AND just like that, as I write this post, I get a call from the school. My son just threw up. So THAT is why I am here. I am on standby. Ready to swoop in at a moment's notice when I am needed. Ready to go be mom.

So I will go pick up my son from school. I will bring him home to care for him. I will hold his little bucket and tell him that everything is going to be okay.

I am still needed during the day sometimes after all.

What about you? How do you roll with the changes of being a mother? Kids grow up. Even though we beg them not to. Life is all about the changes.



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