When it Comes to Bullying, How Responsible are the Parents?

6 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

Here we are just a few short weeks from the end of school.  I thought we were going to make it, but apparently I was wrong.  See we have a bully in our neighborhood.  Most of the moms have agreed (ok, me and the neighbor) that it is not all her fault.  After all, he home life is far from optimal, with a single mom who doesn’t always parent her.  We have tried to cut her some slack, we have put up with a lot from her, and so have our daughters.

But when my daughter comes home yelling, crying and slamming doors because the bully had once again done something to her at school, I decided it’s time to step in, and stop it.  I went to school, explained the situation, and the promised to take care of it.  They talked to my daughter, who told them she was afraid of being seen as a tattle tale, and was worried about retaliation from the bully.

Turns out, she had every right to be worried.  That afternoon, the bully stood outside her classroom waiting to kick my daughter’s ass.  So back to school I went.  They again promised to talk to the teachers and pull the bully in to talk to her.  When I saw the bully walking through our yard after school, I stepped outside and told her just leave my daughter alone.  Don’t talk to her, don’t look at her, she just doesn’t exist.  Megan has been told to do the same.  She screamed “Why did you go to the school and tell on me?” Uh, because I want it all stopped.

Within the hour her mother was outside my front door yelling at me, calling me a bitch, and blaming Megan for everything. (Now we know where the bully gets it).  I just walked back into the house and shut the door.

The girls’ dad called the school, talked to the principal, who is calling all the girls in his office Monday morning.  The girls’ dad will be here Wednesday to talk to the principal.  We both want it all to stop. We have tolerated the bully for the entire school year, and frankly, enough is enough.

I blame the mom as much as I blame the bully.  I don’t have the full story, but I know this

  • Her son, when he does go to school, spends his days in In School Suspension.  Recently he was expelled.  Last week he was sent to live with his dad.
  • We are not the first family to go the school complaining about the bully, and yet, she continues to get away with her behavior.
  • The bully believes she’ll get away with it this time, and won’t get into any trouble.  She doesn’t know me, and she’ sure as hell doesn’t know the girls’ dad. We won’t give up until something is done.
  • The bully is allowed to roam the streets until all hours of the night, because mom’s not home.
  • I understand being a single parent is hard, and you have to work to pay the bills, but parenting your kids and being a part of their life is more important.

It has been an entire year of my daughter being made fun of, picked on, talked about, and threatened.  It has been an entire year of ‘She said this’ and ‘She did that’ and it’s been an entire school year of my daughter putting up with all this from the bully and well, it has to stop.

Becky (Ms Batman)

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