Everyone knows I can’t stand bullies. Especially the ones who hide behind their computers and say whatever they want without ever fully understanding the true impact of what they say.
The other day I was having a little pat myself on the back moment on my facebook page where I recounted how four years ago I had been penniless, homeless, jobless and if I believed everything I read about myself; I was also worthless and futureless as well.
Thankfully I am a survivor, so whilst such things certainly did hit me hard, no almost cripple me, they did not kill me. But had I been just a little weaker, there is no doubt my story may have ended tragically a few years ago with my son having to grow up fending for himself.
What happened four years ago to make so many people believe my life/career had ended? I stopped hosting a TV show called Biggest Loser in Australia and apparently, according to some, when that happens, your whole life worth comes to a grinding halt. Despite being an author published 5 times, it seems I would or should never write again. Having hosted more shows than just that one, I had somehow missed the fine print that said that would be my last job ever. And as to my most important role of being a mother, one I had before, during and after that four year job, a mere blink of the eye in a forty year life, apparently that too was not worth anything the second the cameras stopped rolling on my close up.
I’ve moved on. I moved away from the petty media bitchiness in Australia and started over. I have a long list of things I plan to do next in whatever time remains of my life – more books, produce my own shows, write a screenplay, develop my anti bullying awards, save the world and again, my most important “job” of all, CONTINUE being a single mom and looking after, nurturing and empowering my nearly 15 year old son Kai, who has Aspergers.
So imagine my surprise the other day when someone pointed out a woman having a stab at me on Facebook the very same day I was saying, wow, I may not be top of the world, but I did not give up and you should not give up either – on yourself or on anyone else. What was most ironic about it, was not what she wrote but who wrote it and thus the topic of this blog and why I would “waste” an hour of my day shining a light on her darkness. However I see it as “investing” an hour in the hope it shines a light on why kids think it’s okay to bully others. Because their parents are showing them how!
So here’s the post:
It’s not that nasty, really and not that big a deal. I’ve never met this woman, I’ve never done anything to hurt her or insult her but somewhere in her day, she needed to feel better about herself by making an allusion to the fact that “my time” was over. Huh.
Here is what’s sad and ironic about it: Bobbi Chegwyn is not only a mother of a young daughter but she is alife coach. She teaches people HOW to follow their dreams and supposedly gets paid to encourage and guide them to never give up …unless she’s a really crappy life coach, which may very well be the case. That or she is a class A hypocrite. Quite possibly both. I wonder if she tells clients to give up the first time they lose a job, or to run away the first moment someone criticizes them or perhaps she has her own suicide kit for those who lose their homes when they go bankrupt, after all, her every day ideology seems to be to just step out of the spotlight because…..well, she thinks I should…..for no other reason than apparently it’s my time. Um, I’m forty something….Betty White is 92 and still working…..who died and made you Queen of people retiring when you say so?
But here’s what is more tragic. The fact that as a mother of a young impressionable girl, who looks to her to lead the way, she is teaching her kid that amongst your friends and family and in your every day life as a role model and professional life coach, it is okay to say nasty, rude, disempowering comments about people you don’t even know. CLICK! Hey it’s that easy. And then when her friends laugh along with it the child gets even more reinforcement that if the adults do this as part of an every day occurrence then how come it’s so wrong for them to just type, click and send? Nobody gets hurt, right? Tell that to Charlotte Dawson, L’Wren Scott and so many more who have decided that it’s just too hard. Gosh Darn it. Don’t you see how harmful even the simplest actions can be?
Believe me, there’s been plenty worse said about me, but that’s not the point……the point is this woman has TWO roles in which her JOB is to LEAD the way, as a mother AND as a life coach……in fact she offers highly priced empowerment books, courses and sessions on her website, which she proclaims is all about female empowerment……must have missed the part of her manifesto where it is only about empowering SOME women not all of the sistahood (yes, she’s one of THOSE!!!)….and god forbid you should come across any kind of difficulty in life, because her sentiment seems to be to just give up….or give up on someone you don’t even know, or better still, why not even kick them when they are down or trying to get back up, because hey, it’s just like walking over the homeless people in the street….if you cross the road and walk fast enough you don’t have to give them a second thought either. Other people’s problems are other people’s problems and it seems compassion is only for those she deems “worthy”.
Well, Bobbi, here is what I hope for you – nothing but the best of everything…I hope your daughter grows up KNOWING the difference between right and wrong and the value of thirty minutes well spent versus 30 seconds doing something stupid, nasty, shallow, insensitive and uncaring. If Facebook is where you put your best face forward I would hate to see what you say about people behind their backs. I hope your clients see your true core values and judge with their checkbooks so you too can appreciate how amazing it is when a person can pick themselves up out of nothing time and time again, never ever give up, still keep smiling, still want the best for people, still want to help others and still want to live life to the fullest. That is what life coaching is REALLY about. Not the haves versus the have nots and let’s all knock others so we can feel so much more superior than them……because let me tell you, my sister from another mister, circumstances can change at any given time, and it is only then that you discover your true worth……I know mine. I am priceless even if only to my son and that makes my entire life WORTH SOMETHING!
For more tips and hints on how worthless your life may or may not be http://www.askcoachbobbi.com
Me and my darling son Kai
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