What Dads Really Need to Hear This Father's Day

3 years ago

My Dearest Husband,

Sometimes I forget.

I forget that you, too, have had a hard day at work. When I toss the kids at you the second you walk through the door, I take for granted the fact that I have not even given you a moment’s break before beginning your other job as daddy.

I overlook the fact that this new crazy, wonderful, stressful, magical, difficult, beautiful, maddening life we have created is also an adjustment for you too. I wasn’t the only one whose life changed when we heard Man cry for the first time.

I lose sight of the fact that when you have to put your job first, you really are putting us first. It takes a lot to provide for a family of four and maintaining a job is a key component of that.

I lose track of just how many Saturdays and Sundays you take them out and give me a chance to rest. You see it, you see how hard it is, and you understand how much I need a break.

I forget how hands-on you are. Your willingness to take over and do whatever is needed, no questions asked.

I misinterpret the fact that although you (and I) mess up sometimes, you are not a punching bag. You are my best friend, my love, my equal, my co-parent, my partner in crime.

I try not to think about the fact that you need a break, too. I have to remind myself that being at your work is not “alone time.”

I cannot imagine the added stress you are under since having children. I find it hard to live up to the expectations of motherhood and that’s the only job I have right now. You must find it twice as difficult to live up the expectations of employee, boss, and father. So many people need you (me the most) and you are only one person.

I see you.

I see how loving you are, how much the children adore you, how much they need you.

I appreciate how much patience you have with them, but especially with me.

I am sure that I would have never made it through the first few years of motherhood without you by my side. I leaned on you, and you held up with your unwavering strength.

I feel your support, your unconditional love, your confidence in me as a parent. I am a better mom with you as their dad.

I listen when you tell me I’m beautiful even if I haven’t showered in days. You tell me not because you think I need to hear it, which I do, but because you truly believe it.

I forget to tell you as often as you need, no, as often as you deserve, what a wonderful person you are. This only makes you an even better partner for me and father for my children then I could have ever thought possible. My gift to you this Father’s Day is to make sure that you are filled with the knowledge that you are loved, appreciated, seen, and understood. Ok, ok, I got you a real gift too, I’m not that lame. But keep these words in your heart so the next time I forget, you remember.

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