As a mother of three beautiful children, who, as fate would have it, were born only 11 ½ months apart, I heard this question a lot. It is the one question on everyone’s lips, and for some reason, it irritates me to no end. Why do strangers feel like they should be privy to such private information? How do people have the gall to just walk up to someone they don’t know, and ask such a personal question? In the early days, my sweet, shy answer was just a plain “no” or “no we were not”, stated as I looked down at my bulging belly, or newborn daughter. As time passed, and my belly grew larger, my patience for this question got shorter. Eventually I would smile sweetly at the person asking and answer “Yep! We had sex twice that night!” That would stop the questioner right in their tracks, sometimes. Sometimes the questioner would just stare at me and then walk away. However, others would persist: “Really? So … like a cat then?” “Oh my goodness,” I would think, “this person actually believes me!” Eventually, I would shake my head no, and laugh, the irritation melting away. “No, not really” I would say. Course, this opens the door for more questions from the stranger: “did you use fertility treatments or are they natural?” Again, I am irritated. Seriously, this is no one else’s business but my families and mine. If I had my dear daughter with me, then next very predictable statement would be “boy, you are going to have your hands full!” “Uh, yes, yes I am” I would mutter.
The truth of the matter is this – no matter how you are blessed with twins, either through fertility treatments or the old-fashioned way, it is your business and yours alone. Do not feel the pressure to answer stranger’s questions, no matter now well meaning they are. Your body is yours, and the privacy of your pregnancy and how you got that way, should be implicit.
I can now laugh at those rude, personal questions pressed upon me by strangers. I am sorry now that I did not handle myself with more grace when I was pregnant with my boys. I wish I knew then, what I know now, as I know I could have handled myself in a much better way.
My advice? Face the situation, and be the better person. It will make you feel better. When those questions start, head the person off at the pass. Politely say that is personal information, thanks for asking, and leave it at that.
Jae, Mama 2 3 Kiddos
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