When Mila Kunis made her rant about men with pregnant mates saying “we are pregnant,” I heard a collective cheer from mothers and mothers-to-be from every end of the universe. And while I understand the difference between being pregnant and being WITH someone who is pregnant, I have to say that I don’t agree. Many men and wives of doting husbands would beg to differ as well.
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For starters, men may very well exhibit symptoms of pregnancy. This phenomenon known as couvade syndrome (french for we’re pregnant) is a common problem for dads-to-be. According to What to Expect, men often experience anxiety, nausea AND weight gain along with their expecting partner. Men sometimes do suffer in their sympathetic responses to pregnancy.
More importantly, any woman who has experienced a doting and loving husband during a pregnancy knows that he IS pregnant with you. He is preparing to be a father himself while dealing with your changing moods and body. He is doing what he can to ease your discomfort and make you happy. It IS extra work for him to tend to your crazy pregnancy needs and continue about life so as to set up a happy and stable home. Most women will admit that they didn’t get pregnant alone. And if they are lucky, they won’t go through it alone. And few women really want to raise their child alone. So why start out with hogging all the glory?
I understand the frustration and hormone of pregnancy. I’ve done it twice. And so did my husband. He ate Taco Bell, Ikea meatballs and banana splits more often than I’ll admit… just to appease me. He rubbed my football feet and painted my sausage toes. He was at every appointment he could escape work to make. He was at all day classes for birthing and parenting. He was pregnant with me. And while I was the one with the indigestion, he was the one trucking out at 3 am to get me a single ginger ale. He was next to me during every contraction and there when WE became parents.
I guess what I’m saying is, if you have a guy that sticks around, don’t argue semantics over the sentence. We all know women are martyrs for experiencing childbirth. Let’s not overlook the part a good man plays in our pregnancies and what will become our families. Don’t diminish the father’s role. It’s just not cool.
Oh, and Happy Father’s Day Dads!
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