I had a near-death experience this week. Seriously. I was just minding my own business, doing one of my favorite things – enjoying a Detroit Tigers baseball game. We were seated on the main level at the third base line. Out of nowhere, a foul ball came flying AT MY HEAD. I was frozen. I am not kidding. All I could do is stare at it. It appeared to be moving in slow motion, and looked as big as a softball. The closer it came, the more paralyzed I was. Thankfully, it whizzed right between my head and that of the woman sitting next to me. It got me wondering about how often people get seriously hurt or killed by a foul ball at the ballpark. It turns out, others have wondered the same thing. Death at the Ballpark: A Comprehensive Study of Game-Related fatalities was written by two Librarians and baseball Historians, Robert M. Gorman and David Weeks. According to Gorman and Weeks, while there have been more than 900 professional, amateur, Little League or backyard baseball fatalities, only one fan has been killed by a MLB foul ball in the last 150 years. There’s some solace in that! However, I’m not going to miss a premium on my AD&D insurance policy!
My knee slapper this week is less of a ha ha knee-slapper, and more of a “dang, are you kidding me?” slap of the knee. My daughter is a high schooler now. She is in 9thgrade and experiencing her first homecoming as a high school student. Last night, she participated in the all night decorating party. Where has the time gone?
When you have a baby and people tell you that the time will fly by…believe them. It doesn’t seem like it when you are in those moments of tantrums, or trying to prove to yourself that you CAN figure out the new way of doing 5th grade math…but you’ll blink and time will have flown. To make myself feel less old, and lighten the mood, I crack myself up by telling my daughter and her friends that I am on her school’s Twerk Team, and I’ll see them at half time. #TwerkTeam
I also re-read some funny parent Tweets from my favorite place in the world besides Trader Joes, HuffPost:
- Parenting is 90% threatening to throw their crap away if they don’t clean it up (@kristenhowerton)
- Things I have in my purse: Straws, snacks, a drawing of my son’s goldfish, a toothbrush. Things I do not have in my purse: A GODDAMN INK PEN (@maughammom)
- Whenever you hear your child saying “smell this” from another world, you know your day just got more complicated (@thehilljean)
- Got drunk last night and bedazzled all of my son’s Hot Wheels (@GayAtHomeDad)
I love grabbing a cup of coffee and a bit of time on Pinterest on a Sunday morning to check out recipes that might work for the upcoming week. Last Sunday, I was doing just that and the second I opened it up, this stared back at me.
She was tucked between banana breakfast sandwich and oreo cookie pilgrim hats. When she looked at me, it was like she was saying – “I dare ya….I dare ya to make those pumpkin muffins”. Meanwhile, her pumpkin muffins performed gravity defying feats while barely tucked into the shimmery silver dress. Yeesh. I closed down Pinterest and decided to go to church instead. She ruined it for me.
I’m usually only a wine connoisseur. However, because I’ve been protesting the end of summer so much, and because it’s the end of my fiscal year at work (stress!) and because life is just always so crazy, I was glad to see that the Huffington Post decided to feature apple cider cocktail recipes this week. They said that transitions are smoother when you have a cocktail in your hand! The one that looks tastiest to me comes from a blog called How Sweet It Is – apple cider margaritas. I don’t normally like regular margaritas because the acid makes me a little shall we say verklempt. However, I really doubt I can go wrong with Grand Marnier and a pretty little cinnamon/sugar rimmed glass! Come to mama!
On another minor note about all things tasty….one of my colleagues recommended adding oregano when I order the Turkey Tom from Jimmy John’s. Um – wow. Try it. You’ll like it.
News from the Front Line
Puppy training is still a work in progress. Luna (Loonie Tunes) completed her 3rdclass this week. She is officially the most distracted walker in my neighborhood. She chases every leaf that blows by. Here’s the problem for me. Leaves don’t typically blow in straight lines. We’re starting to get a little paranoid. Our pooch seems to be the most disruptive in the class, and the most in need of intervention. The first week, the Instructor worked with her a little “extra”. The second week, her husband helped, too. This week, her husband AND another man helped. We’re worried that next week, the police or national guard may step in. They tell me there’s hope for this puppy, but somedays I’m not sure I believe.
So went a week in our life
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