I'm done with school but sometimes I miss the simplicity of it compared to "grown up life." Don't get me wrong, wouldn't go back if you paid me in large amounts of chocolate covered espresso beans but still, certain aspects of it were nice.
Top Five Ways Life in School Was Easier Then Life as a Stay At Home Mom
SCHOOL. You had certain obligations, such as turning in homework, that was expected to be completed by a certain time. But honestly, if you turned it in late they'd usually still accept it and if you skipped it every now and then it probably wouldn't even register on your over all grade.
REAL LIFE. You have certain obligations, set forth by your children obviously, such as playing Candy Land several times a day. While this is a fairly easy task, should you not have time to complete it, this will be deemed entirely unacceptable. You will be reprimanded thoroughly and possibly reproached with tears and accusations. Every failure to play Candy Land will be reflected on your mommy report card as issued verbally throughout each day by your 3 year old.
SCHOOL. Your schedule is put in place at the beginning of each year/semester. You will know exactly where you need to be and can expect to be fed at the same time each day.
REAL LIFE. Your schedule will consist of a long to-do list that cannot possibly be completed in 24 hours however every day you will still attempt to cram it all in while entertaining and parenting the little people who keep following you around. You can expect to be fed never, although there may be time to chug a cold cup of coffee and shove a handful of animal crackers in your mouth.
SCHOOL. You will easily make friends with people whose lives are very similar to your own in the fact that you both go to school and are probably fed at the same time each day. You will see these friends daily and swear eternal devotion, until of course one of you moves or finally starts dating that super sexy tuba player.
REAL LIFE. Making friends will become one of the more difficult things in your life and it will be based largely on whose kids don't annoy the hell out of you. But your focus will mainly be on maintaining the friendships you already have. You will rarely see these friends unless under the guise of "play dates" or when one of you needs to be rescued from the little people and whisked away for a coveted "coffee date" (this will happen roughly once a year, probably on a birthday. And when I say "coffee" I mean wine). You actually WILL be eternally devoted to each other, if only because ditching each other to make better friends would be way too much trouble. Texting or emailing will qualify as "hanging out."
SCHOOL. As long as you asked nicely or just left quietly you could go to the bathroom whenever needed. Or even if it wasn't needed you could sneak off to the "bathroom" to make a phone call, have a secret rendezvous, touch up your make-up, or just get the hell of class.
REAL LIFE. Using the bathroom is now a luxury. You must control your bladder until everyone else's needs are met and even then you will probably need an escort of one or more children. Life's cruel humor is that now your bladder, since birthing these little tyrants, is no longer one to listen to reason or wait patiently.
SCHOOL. You could take a sick day anytime you were sick, or you had something better to do. Or you were just really tired. Or your hair was super frizzy.
REAL LIFE. You don't get a sick day. EVER. You better suck it up and down that Theraflu lady because school is in session and it ain't over till THEY say it's over. Hopefully you've learned your lesson and next time your immune system will work a little harder. Or you won't go buck wild and stay up until 2 AM watching the latest season of Glee on Netflix huh?
See more at Meltdowns, Breakdowns, and Time-outs
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