It all started the other day when my mommy did not sleep so well. I can't imagine why. She was only in my room half the night, waiting for me to nod off to slumber land. I've never been to this land of slumber. I think it's a place for mommies to go and take a nap when they are tired.
So the next morning, while making my breakfast of microwaved pancakes, she spilled a mug of smelly brown water all over the kitchen floor. Then she used a potty word.
I said, "No potty, mommy!"
She looked at me with a smile. "Potty? You want to make a potty?"
Mommy was so happy in that moment I almost said yes.
I don't think I'm ready for 'the pot' as my dad calls it: "You wanna go sit on the pot?!"
I always shake my head, no. Why would I want to do that when I have such a soft, warm, comfy pull-up on?
Back to my potty-mouth mommy. So after she wiped up all the dark puddles, she poured some more in her "I'm #1 Mom" mug.
Then it cracked and fell to the floor.
The phone made a ringing sound.
And I did a number two in my comfy pull-up.
Instead of cleaning up the mess or answering the phone, she sat on the floor, pounded her fists, and said a few more potty words.
I sat on the floor next to her, in one of the brown puddles, and before I could grab at the mug-puzzle pieces she got on all fours and snatched them all up.
When she was done she stood up and limped over to the trash, whispering more potty words.
"Baked mug!" I yelled. "All gone!"
Next it was me she picked up, but rather than hold me close she held me with her arms straight out and made a scrunchy face. I did not think I smelled THAT bad. OK, maybe a little.
Somewhere between my mommy changing my pull-up and me sipping milk from my pink-purpley sippy cup, we both fell asleep on the couch and my mom took a trip to slumber land.
I held her close, but not too close; she has a potty mouth.
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