I'm going to say something that the 'Mom God' are going to be made at me for but it needs to be said: Today, I realized, even if only for a few hours, that being stuck at home with a sick baby was just what I needed.
Yesterday, I was irritated. I had just started a two week vacation and my 'to-do' list was stressing me out. So much for any kind of relaxing. There's stuff that needs to get done, a house to clean, a party to throw, hair to be dyed, dinners to be prepped, a birthday to be had (mine - ew), workouts to be done, play dates to be had etc etc. The list is literally endless. And daunting. And when I started making the list on 'day one', I started stressing about how I was possibly going to fit it all in, yet alone actually enjoy my time off.
I had already planned to put mini-me in daycare some of the days I'm off. I love the little monkey, but some things are just easier on my own (i.e. working out and prepping any kind of food, particularly when raw meat is involved). Plus, I'm paying whether she's there or not. Yes, that's my mom-guilt rationalizing, just leave me to it.
Then mini-me threw a wretch in my plans and got sick. How dare she?! We have been up the last two nights with a very sad, feverish, whiny, and just generally unhappy little girl.
I had planned to take mini-me up north to visit my dad and step-mom but last night's fever, lack of sleep and an impromptu trip to the doctor's office today kinda kibosh-ed that plan, as well as any other things I had on the to-do list/agenda today.
It's important for me to note, in no way, shape or form, do I like having a sick baby. I literally am in pain seeing her hurting and not being able to fit it. BUT mini-me's unplanned sickness did me some good.
At one point today I consciously decided "you're not going to check off anything on your list today and you need to let it go" so I did.
Today, I relented to the fact that I couldn't accomplish what I had planned/hoped/intended.
Today, I let my baby girl take an hour and a half nap on my chest while I laid on the couch and watched soap operas.
Today, I did what I could with the time I had. I put no pressure on myself because I had a sick little girl who needed my attention.
I took the pressure off myself. I gave myself a break.
Despite the blowouts, the whining and the mood swings, mini-me and I made it through.
We not only survived the day, but I managed to run the vacuum, buy some groceries, make dinner and do dishes.
No, I didn't workout. I didn't scrub toilets or prepare any meals for the weeks to come. I didn't check off anything on my list but I didn't add to it either.
Today, I reveled in the sleepy snuggles, the bouts of silly laughter for no reason and all the moments my sweet girl had to offer.
Today I relaxed.
Today, I stayed home with my sick baby and I think it was just what I needed.
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