Thank you Monster Energy drink for taking care of me.

4 years ago

This morning has been a doozy,(I'm using the word doozy...that has to be bad.)  I am even thinking about selling a couple of kids on the black market for a Monster energy drink. Seriously…I am exhausted and irritated.

Have not slept much in the last few days, which is nothing new for me; however, that does not mean I want to be woken up early on sat morning with blood curdling banshee screams!

Nevertheless, there I was…6 am this morning.

Kid 2 smacks kid 4 because kid 4 took the controller to the Xbox from kid 7.

So then kid 6 gets in on it, because… well…why the hell not.

Kid 8 just laughs and points, every now and then you can hear him call out , “Really! Really joey! (Joey is kid 2 by the way and kid 8 has picked up moms “really” for everything.)

Dan rolls over every now and then, politely asking me to go kill them all. He got home from work around 3:00 am and would really like to sleep before he goes back to work. (me too, but…we have 8 freakin monsters in the other room!)

So then, kid 1 wakes up and decides that kid 2 did not have the right to smack kid 4 because he’s not the parent so he smacks him. (Umm….how does that work?)

So then, kid 2 comes in to complain about kid 1, while kid 4 is now yelling at kid 8 because he just dumped out a box of cereal for him and the dog. (Fantastic)

Kid 5 and 3 decide they have been left out long enough so begin to scream (at least not hit) about whos turn it is to check their monsters on Facebook. Because, they have no idea if kid 7 has started another war for their clan or not.  (I have no clue wth that even means)

Again, Dan begs me to take care of it.

Me: EVERYONE>>>ENOUGH!!!! (Then I crawled back into bed.)

Kid 8 decides the battle over the cereal with the dog is over, so he comes back to bed with me and tells me all about the mayhem I am missing in the other room. (I understood about every other word)

Kid 1 gets into fight with kid 3 because 4 is whining and 3 is sick of hearing it, but again kid 1 wants to make it clear that kid 3 is also not a parent and sends kid 3 and 4 to their rooms…

(Big crashing sound. ..And all gets quiet)

I am assuming

  1. They broke something and are hoping they can hide it
  2. They killed each other
  3. They broke something


Within a min, 1-7 come barreling into my room to tell me nothing is broken, so not to worry. (Given hugs and they leave again…silly boys. They think I’m stupid)

Screaming starts again. I lock myself in the bathroom grumbling and swearing, turn the shower on, and drowned them all out for a while.

Yep, by 6:45 am I am in the shower on a Saturday morning, trying to remind myself why I love being a mom.

Who knows, maybe I will get a nap today.

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