That Terrible Feeling A Mother Has When She Sends Her Daughter Home...Over 1,000 Miles Away
After getting to spend a week and a half with Caitlin, I awoke to my alarm clock ringing at 4 a.m. That was a terrible reminder that it was time to get up and drive my daughter to the airport to return to Ohio. And for this reason alone, I knew that this day would not be a good one for me.
When Caitlin arrived, we hit the ground running, attempting to do everything and see everyone we could in what now seems like a very short period of time. We had manis and pedis, Caitlin got a new hair do. We visited the grandparents, went to an engagement party, decorated pumpkins and went Trick-r-Treating with Parker Ann. This past weekend, we traveled to New Orleans to visit with Caitlin's brother, meet Ryan's new in-laws-to-be and enjoy the Broadway show, Les Miserable. Basically we tried to shove as much stuff into a short period of time as possible. And it wasn't until Sunday, on our drive back from New Orleans that it really hit me; I had to send her back home the following morning and would not see her again until Dec. 22.
The mere thought of not getting to see Caitlin until Dec. 22, I must admit, it was quite depressing to me. I decided to just get up, drive her to the airport, hug her at the door, keep waving as I watched her ride the escalator upstairs...and then cry as I drove away. You see, it had already been decided that she and Kevin could not make it in for Thanksgiving, thus the Dec. 22 date. It is also Justin and Sarah's year to spend Thanksgiving with her family in Arkansas so they will not be with us either. Ryan also announced that it was likely that Allison (starting her new job in New Orleans...) would have to work during Thanksgiving as well. He would be staying there with her if that was the case. And so I asked David what their plans would be. Also being a resident this year, he is not sure yet what their plans will be. I realized that things in my world...they were a changin'.
I pondered "Skipping Thanksgiving", you know like that John Grisham book, "Skipping Christmas". This year would definitely be different and perhaps I should just plan on doing something totally different. I suppose I knew that this day would one day come, whenever it would only be Robby and me alone for a holiday, but it seemed to sneak up on me just the same.
And so, I sit here folding a basket of clothes this morning, thinking about my daughter flying back across the country and I am sad. That's all I can say about it because it is very difficult to explain to anybody who has not experienced this feeling. Oh, I will eventually get up and head out of the house at some point today, but this little cloud of sadness will follow me around for a while. There's nothing I can do but allow time to soothe these feelings. There truly is nothing like a mother's love; it is something that cannot be described or explained. Caitlin will know this feeling one day soon when she, herself becomes a mother. It's funny how life becomes a full circle; one that encompasses all of us at some point in time.
We will miss you cheering the LSU Tigers on with us...
Parker will miss Ca Ca and "Baby Jarrell" eating ice cream with her...
Parker will miss rubbing your tummy (aka: "Baby Jarrell")
I will miss watching Mommy Jarell's tummy grow...
I will miss Mommy and "Baby Jarrell" SO MUCH! PLEASE hurry and come back SOON!
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