A Tangle with the Tooth Fairy

3 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

“Excuse me Ma’am, we got a call about a breaking and entering.”

 “It’s okay Officer, I’m actually allowed in the house.”

 “And you are…?”

 “The Tooth Fairy.”

 “Did the homeowners let you in, Ma’am.”

 “Not exactly.”

 “How exactly did you enter the home?”

 “Through the window.”

 “You climbed in?

 “No, I flew.”

 “I see.  You realize it’s a crime to enter someone else’s home without their knowledge?”

 “Well, they knew I was coming, they just didn’t know when.”

 “And what was the purpose of your visit?”

“I was picking up a tooth and dropping off some money.”

 “Sounds fishy to me.”

 “No. It’s totally legit.”

 “And you say they knew about it?”


 “Well, we also got a report of an unauthorized tooth retrieval.”

 (Sigh).  “It was authorized, Officer.  The problem is the owner of the tooth doesn’t believe in the tooth fairy."

 “So why did you come.”

 “His parents are supposed to do it but they forget to wake up and then he blames me in the morning.  It’s bad for my reputation.”

 “Do you have the tooth on you now.”

 “Um, I’m not sure I should answer that question.”

 “Ma’am I have probable cause to search your bag.  I suspect you are in possession of oral contraband.”

 “Hey Officer, do you floss?”

“I think you’re trying to change the subject.”

 “You know, people don’t pay enough attention to their oral hygiene.  It’s a real problem!”

 “Ma’am, I’m afraid I have to charge you with Breaking and Entering, Unauthorized Tooth Retrieval, Failure to Operate a Business without a License, and Unlawful Use of Fairy Dust.”

 “But Officer, I still have a lot of teeth to collect tonight. The kids will be very disappointed if I don’t come.”

 “Yeah, that’s what the Easter Bunny and that Santa dude, said, too.  Tell it to the judge.”


Tracy Beckerman is a syndicated humor columnist and author.  You can read more of her blog at www.lostinsuburbia.com

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