The "Talkers" and the "Doers": Living Your Dreams

3 years ago

There are cat people and dog people. There are truck people and car people. There are city folk and country folk. There are wine drinkers and beer drinkers. The list goes on and on. Chances are you’ve already put yourself in one of the categories. Me? Well, I’m a wine drinking, car driving, dog loving country folk (ok...I'm on the fence in regards to city or country!).

Then there are the “talkers” and the “doers”. You know the people. The ones who talk incessantly about what they want to do in their life and the ones who talk about what they would like to do and actually end up doing it. I’m talking about the friend who says, “I’m going to run a marathon” and then by the next week they’re up to 3 miles a day training, the marathon is registered for and new running shoes have been bought. hannah halfOr the co-worker who announces that he’s done with this career of 25 years and wants to start a bakery making cinnamon rolls. And he’s already got the business license! There’s something about the “doer” that is so enviable.

Who is the “doer”? They have an idea or a dream. They take that idea and envision it, verbalize it and immediately start steps towards making it a reality. They seem to have no fear, no barriers and don’t really care what other’s opinions are about their idea or dream. They know this dream is theirs and nothing will shake them. Doers usually have a great planning system. Goals and objectives are easily created and achieved. If a detour presents itself or they fall, they go around it or get up.

So who are the “talkers”? A talker starts off very much the same as a doer. They have a dream or idea that captivates and inspires them-one that creates joy from just the mere thought of it. The talker often begins their conversation with, “Someday I’m going to go to Machu Picchu” or “I’ve always wanted to get my master’s degree”.

machu-picchu-43390_640Then a month or a year later it is brought up again. No dates set, no plan in motion. It’s a scary and daunting task to put a dream into motion. The fear of failure is there and then there’s the, “then what?” The dream is so nice and comforting. Safe. Detours are everywhere-from bathrooms to clean, bills to pay and the weighing of other people’s opinions- “what will so and so think?” Meanwhile, your doer friend has already enrolled in that Tango dance class you’ve been talking of taking.

Youth, in many ways, helps you be a doer. There is no time for self-actualization. The fear of the unknown is invigorating, not terrifying. Often times, it’s a life altering event like divorce, death or loss of a job that a person gains the strength and wisdom to live their dreams. Sometimes it’s a birthday or a milestone, like a child’s graduation or daughter's wedding (or BOTH!) that makes you determined to no longer be a 2

I’ve compiled a few steps that will help a person make that transition from that of a talker to a doer. Steps we all could use to help us achieve our dreams-big or small. And it’s a challenge for this self professed “doer” turned “talker” who is now in the rehabilitation phase of becoming a “doer” once again.

Five Steps to Becoming a “Doer”

1.) VISUALIZE IT! If you can’t see yourself doing it, then chances are you won’t be doing it. Norman Vincent Peale, wrote, “Picture your goal: “see” it clearly as now in process of formation, already becoming fact”.

2.) TALK ABOUT IT! Share it with your family and friends. This is YOUR dream, YOUR vision. By sharing, you are owning your dream and now have a form of “accountability”. Don’t stop here or you will be just a talker.

3.) ESTABLISH OBJECTIVES. You have your goal: Your Dream. Now you need to create and do precise and tangible things that will help achieve your goal. Want to plant an herb garden? Create a layout on paper, research which herbs you want, set a date to start digging. Don’t buy the plants first. Take it from me.

4.) IGNORE THE NAYSAYERS. Especially the ones in your head. More often than not, your friends and family aren’t the ones telling you that you shouldn’t do something- it’s you worrying what others are going to think.

5.) FEAR NOT. We can plan all the details, weigh the pros and cons and talk about every day. Before we realize it, we have become a “talker”. In the words of Henry David Thoreau, "We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal and then leap in the dark to our success".

This is an article written by one of the incredible members of the SheKnows Community. The SheKnows editorial team has not edited, vetted or endorsed the content of this post. Want to join our amazing community and share your own story? Sign up here.

More from parenting

by Jennifer Mattern
| 4 hours ago
by Panama Jackson
| 9 hours ago
by Julie Sprankles
| 3 days ago
by Kelcey Kintner
| 4 days ago
by Sara Lindberg
| 4 days ago
by Jennifer Mattern
| 4 days ago