Tales of a Reluctant Bed Sharer

5 years ago

Whatever you think about people who bed share with their children – they’re touchy-feely hippies, they’re codependent, they’re permissive parents, or they’re just snuggly folks – I can assure you that some of us are just desperate people doing whatever it takes to get a little sleep. I really wanted to try to not bed share with Julius, but as things are shaping up so far, that’s not working too well. If possible, he is an even worse sleeper than Miles at this point.

I don’t understand how this baby can sleep right through Miles having screaming tantrums all day long, sometimes 6 inches from his face, and yet if I put him down on a flat surface it’s all over??

Now that he’s accepted the swing, that and a baby carrier (on me) are the only two places he’ll nap for any length of time. Yesterday the batteries in the swing died so I spent the day trying to “practice” getting him to sleep flat on his back in the bassinet. I could get him to sleep there after rocking him down, but all of his naps were only 30-45 minutes.

For the past few nights I’ve also been trying hard to make him sleep in the co-sleeper bassinet instead of in our bed. Its butts right up to the mattress so he is still very close to me, and yet, this is an unacceptable substitute for being nestled directly in my armpit. He wakes up more often looking to nurse, and I have to stay up longer to wait until he’s back to sleep and then try to make the transfer. And sometimes the second he hits the co-sleeper he’s awake and flopping around like a fish dumped out of the aquarium. What is that all about??

Keep in mind that there are now FOUR of us in the bed, and I call it five because Mike is evil and makes a pillow/blanket barrier, as wide as a fifth person, between himself and all the craziness on my side of the bed. About 49 out of 50 nights, Miles is back in our bed too. And Julius is so hypersensitive that if I even shift an arm he wakes up and I have to nurse AGAIN. So basically I have to lie perfectly still in one position all night even if I am getting kicked in the head, which is usually how I wake up in the morning: with Miles deliberately hitting or kicking me because I have become his punching bag, but that’s another post for another day.

Needless to say, this is not restful. Also, Julius stays up until at least 10 pm every night and Miles consistently wakes up at 6 am. Add the baby wakeups to that and there’s not much sleep for mama going on. I am feeling very cranky a lot of these days and I know that it’s this accumulating sleep deprivation that is turning me into a woman on the brink (of eating yet another cookie). I’m still working on it with Julius, because at least he is still pretty malleable. With Miles I am just taking whatever path gets him to sleep the fastest and rolling with that because at least he sleeps through the night now. I’m a little mad at the universe because it TOTALLY OWED ME one good sleeper but I’m pretty sure we’re looking at another two years without sleeping through the night. Sigh…

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